My Domain..

Continued Reservations about Reservations

2012-01-17T18:51:00.001+05:30

This topic has been dealt with over and over again. But, as they say, we must continue to carry the torch forward. I have a problem with the "amount" of reservations and with the sections to which it is provided. There is nothing unique about my thoughts and they have been discussed before. I will just take up a particular case study of my friend who gave CAT, 2011.

He is a smart student from BITS Pilani who did his schooling from DPS Patna. His CAT score was:

Quant + DI - 99.36 percentile, 166/225
VA + Logical Reasoning - 99.79 percentile. 163/225
Overall 99.92 percentile, 329/450

10th - 80+
12th - 80+
College - 60-80
Work Ex - 1-2 years

He did not do Masters, like most people who go for an MBA. Including his "Applicant Rating" and CAT score, his final score came out to be 0.6935 whereas IIMA specifies the minimum requirement for an interview call for a general student to be 0.7050. I thought what if he had more experience, and checked if he would have qualified if he had 2+ years of experience. His score then turns out to be 0.7027, still short by a very narrow margin.

The calculations are done based on data given on this page, http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/users/admission/files/Short%20listing%20Criteria%20for%20PGP%202012-14.pdf

Check the eligibility for other category students.

NC - OBC: 0.595
SC: 0.521
ST: 0.453
DA: 0.462

As compared to a DA candidate , a General candidate needs to score 52.5 % higher [(0.705-0.462)/0.462].

With regards to ST candidate , a General candidate needs to score 55.6% higher.

Similarly w.r.t. SC candidate, a General candidate needs to score 35.3% higher.

W.r.t. NC - OBC candidate, a General candidate needs to be 18.5% higher.

How are such huge percentages justified? So in the same class, a general candidate would, theoretically be, 55% more qualified than another student?

My friend was in the top bracket in almost everything, except the 60-80% marks he got in college. How perfect are you supposed to be as a GE category?

One last stat, total no of general candidates called for interview = 561
Total no of reserved category candidates called for interview = 616

You decide, how fair is it?

Disclaimer - This article is by no means against the admission criterion imposed by IIMA, it is just against the corrupted system of reservation deeply engraved in our country's policies now.

P.S. Good thing is, my friend anyway wants to get through C. But, the issue remains.

Lack of Accountability

2012-01-01T22:43:00.003+05:30

Today is the first day of year 2012. I should be happy and right now be thinking about all the awesome things that would happen this year. A ride through a part of the city today, left a rather sour taste as the night approaches.

What happened today is just an example of what happens on a regular basis on Delhi roads. It is not a pointed comment at any one religion. Today, a particular religious group carried out processions on a large scale in the Capital and other parts of the country. On the road connecting Ring Road with Rajouri Garden, Tilak Nagar, Subhash Nagar and Janakpuri, huge stalls were put up on the road, with kirtans going on full volume, processions on that side of the road (leading towards Janakpuri) and the traffic which was supposed to go towards Janakpuri were forced to travel on the wrong side. We were stuck on the half km stretch for about one and a half hours, listening to kirtans I didn't understand, I didn't care about and most importantly, I didn't want to participate in.

My anger is not due to the fact that I got late, though it did add on to the frustration. What bothers me is the lack of accountability. Guessing by the length of jam from all four sides of the road (roads joining the main road from the colonies) there would have been at the very least about a hundred thousand commuters left stranded in their vehicles. People have a variety of problems, some get nervous in such jams, some start having breathing problems, some ambulances were stuck in the jam hopelessly blaring their siren, some people might have their son or daughter waiting to be picked up from somewhere, someone might be getting late for their flight, national or international, someone getting late for their meeting. But at the end of the day, is there any accountability? In the name of religion, such processions regularly paralyze traffic in metropolitan cities without ensuring an efficient alternate route.

I believe you are free to practice your religion any way you want till the time it does not force bother on other citizens.

Individual events are unimportant. What is important is the tendencies which give birth to these incidents. Our apathy towards inconvenience to others and absence of accountability, which can force people to behave, is the core reason.

This was a vent post which I decided to write when I was stuck right there. It is not informative, it does not give any solutions. If you have any solutions, comments or constructive criticism, do give your feedback below.

Inspired to Thank the Almighty

2011-08-29T03:01:00.007+05:30

If one day in the future, I do not have any friend, I sure hope I don't read this post.

God, you are Awshummm! How else could I be blessed with so many other friends? Yes, that is the only logical explanation that I have with me. God, you are Awshummm and you have a soft corner for me! :D

Where should I begin? I know where to end. So I will talk about now, like today, like 2 hours before now! I shifted to Raleigh 3 weeks back and I have just wonderful flatmates! Sid, Eeshaan and Anubhav. Before coming here, I was hoping I would enjoy with them, now they almost seem like brothers. Touchwood.

There was an awesome flat in Munirka. Some 10 mins walk from my place. When I was back in India..

Yes there were a few really crazy people, who came together every second day, sorry night, to just go mad! We use to play Dumb Charades, watch movies, go out for late night drives, sometimes dance, sometimes walk and well sometimes just talk.. It was amazing the amount of joy it seeped into my life.. It was an overdose but that really was one overdose I was glad to have.. :)

You know guys, they threw a farewell party for me. I can stand up to anyone and argue that it was the very best farewell party that anyone would've got! There were about 20 really awesome friends and my sister who made me feel so special that it would be unjust to describe it in words. There were disco lights, funky costumes, crazy posters, loud music and well a topless cake. I normally don't name people in my posts, but I take the liberty right now to do just that. Nidhi was the person behind it all. She is one person who can stretch her limits to really make you feel special. To do that one special thing for you that you can never forget. The farewell party was one of the many such things you have done for me..

Of course I have to mention Sonal di, Golu, Isha, Kawi, Nayan, Funny, Meena, Bihari, Vaishali, Deepali, Avi, Abhi, Mohit, Paggu, Haggu, Yash, Veeram, Dude, Shubhi.. Hemu, Ankur, Navneet and Ritu send me audio/video messages which were played then. I felt so loved. I cannot really bring that out clearer than this.. :)

There are some other friends on whom I have relied on and not been disappointed. Anshuman was like this life changing mentor that I found in my second/third year. He is now the most valued source of time pass for me.

Rupesh is the friend in my department who helped me take quite a few decisions. Actually forget decisions, he helped me complete quite a few assignments! He has been this mix of extreme intelligence, humor and an awesome attitude which I learn from.

Daddu was the reason I passed quite a few courses smoothly, including Optics :D Babba, Bansal and all my dulla and B.tech friends have been so helpful that if I start adding their names here, this post will never end!

Rudraksh is this guy from Amity who doesn't get tired of pinging me :D But he does ensure that I am never alone, when I am alone. I like it or not is a separate matter! ;)

Nabankur/Nabi was my seat partner in FIITJEE :D He came to IIT with me and he was one guy I could talk to if I was disturbed at 3 at night. Coz that is the time he use to come online ;)

Remembering FIITJEE, I met Ankur Sharma and Ashu then. They are both like brothers to me. And I feel they played a huge huge role in helping me through JEE..

Vandana, Aditi, Arunima and Khushee were four other awesome friends with whom I share some really memorable moments. The trio of Aditi, Arunima and Khushee were never the best friends and it was a regular routine on my birthday parties to be asked by one of them, if the other two are coming :D But I really thank them for making it to most of them :)

When I was in 1st class, I was partnered to sit with Neha. One morning when I reached she was sitting on the other chair from where she was supposed to and the one which was supposedly hers, was filled with water. She was not budging and our class teacher, when she came, also didn't have a clue on what to do. Then I saw Anurag and an empty chair next to him. He gestured to me to come and sit.. That was probably one of the first significant helpful gesture that I remember.. He became my really close friend after that :D

Before that I remember I and Ayush were like these crazy monkeys in KG. We used to run here and there even during the class when the teacher use to look away. I had a talk with him yesterday itself.

In nursery, I was in another school. In there I just remember three people. One hugely competitive brother and sister and my seat partner who had this "kada" on his wrist which I really use to fancy!

And of course my first ever friends were, well, my Dad, Sonal di and Sheenu di.. I felt I didn't need anyone else with them around. Of course when we grow older, we become more greedy ;)

Most of you would have seen this video, but just for completeness.

I feel right now that life is a sinusoidal curve and I am at the very peak. That feeling is awesome but at the same time I feel maybe its not going to be as good as it is right now. I wish to thank God, before its too late to remember his kindness. Thank you Almighty.

Love you my friends. You give me a high that keeps me floating. You give me support when I feel like I am drowning. You bring me down on Earth, when I become mad. You give me a reason, to smile. To smile really wide.

Was I a Ghost?

2011-05-30T11:54:00.001+05:30

It was evening and there were only a handful of people outside their homes. I was taking an evening stroll feeling at peace with the world. As I passed under a street light, the bulb started flickering. I stood there for a second, it continued flickering. I went a little away, it stopped. I came back it started again. Was I generating EMF? Was I a ghost?

Was I dead? If I was a ghost I should be able to float. I gave my mind instruction to float, I could float mid air! I suddenly felt almost ethereal. But I was a ghost? When did I die? Or was I something else? I floated my way to the barber's shop under the Neem tree where I have got my hair cut since childhood. I looked at myself in the mirror. I almost jumped in horror at my own face! Barber greeted me like he always does, but in mirror I had a whitish face, hollow eyes, skeleton kind mouth and Michael Jackson's nose. Are ghosts supposed to look something else in front of mirrors? I thought they were supposed to be invisible, in front of mirror and not look like a demon. So what are we dealing with now?

I walked up to the market. I saw standing there, my friend with a pretty hot girl I instantly developed a crush on. I ignored the girl, hell I was showing attitude even after dying, and took my friend away and explained him what had happened to me. He didn't know I had died! As soon as I told him I am a ghost now, he started running, I stopped him. Not by holding him, but by moving my little finger! Wow I was getting the hang of it. I told him I am harmless but I need his help. I took him along to my colony and there was a blur. I don't remember how I told my parents about it or what their reaction was, but I did see my dad coming out with me in open, accepting the fact that a ghost was standing with them, ghost of his son. I was hoping Dean and Sam Winchester (from the famous Supernatural series) would come and rescue me from whatever I have become. Maybe if they burn my remains. I was cremated, not buried so there must be some portion of my body remains still unburnt.

I went door to door and gathered the people of the entire colony and told them to remain calm. I showed them my true self, a ghost and then asked them to help me RIP. "Please help me find my remains, it must be here somewhere!"

"Adityaaa!! Uthhh jaoo! Dus baj gaye hai! College nai jaana??" Huh? I am no longer a ghost? Oh crap why was I wishing for Sam and Dean to rescue me, they are fictional characters. I should have called on Himanshu Pande, the super fan of Supernatural, he could have helped me in real life.

Good Morning :D

Vemonsdale

2011-03-06T13:51:00.004+05:30

Vemonsdale hosts a few legendary stories. Stories that have made a mark mostly on the protagonists of the stories and not really on others. So yes, they are legendary.

I will take you through one such story, which is pretty clichéd, with a handsome boy and a pretty girl and a lot of mutual friends. Lets not do the naming, as stories with names make more sense.

The boy loved the girl, the girl wasn't too sure. But she had read the Ground Report so said yes to him. What a rebound Sir!

The girl fell in love with him, totally. Maybe because he loved her, maybe because she liked the way he cared so much for her. Her love was not complete.

He said "It's okay" whenever she made a mistake, he said, "I'll take care" whenever she was worried, you know the usual good natured gas talk.

She was good at it too, said good stuff, made him pretty darn happy, did things to make him happy. She needed more time after a long time.

"Its okay" he again said, the all supporting, all talking champ, "Take your time", "I can wait", "I am a great kid", "Be with the one who will keep you happy". 'You will obviously come back to me'

What happened? Is he wrong? What time is it? Is it gone? He doesn't care any more, he has lost that wit, he has lost that smile, he wants to hit something, he wants to abuse, he feels strangled. He is free.

What a biased story, you say; what about the girl, you think. Enough thinking about that girl, the boy shouts; I listen. She is innocent.

Science and Philosophy of Highway Driving

2011-02-27T23:32:00.009+05:30

After two trips back and forth to Punjab on NH 1 (National Highway 1/Grand Trunk Road/ Shershah Suri Marg) I hereby declare myself experienced enough, probably prematurely, to write this post.

You need to know two things, one is how to overtake others, the other is how to allow others to overtake you.

So my mother was sitting besides me and father behind, through the entire route from Ludhiana to Delhi. Dad kept one eye on the speedometer and use to send alarm signals "Dheere dheere (Slow down)" as soon as car use to touch 80km/hr. So I drove at a very comfortable speed of 70-80 for the initial part of the journey when he was watchful. After 50km of driving, he took reassurance from me that I would continue driving at this speed and lay down to sleep. It was then, that I shifted gears from allowing others to overtake, to start overtaking others.

The faster you drive, the more manly you are. I hope my readers are good at catching sarcasm, I am learning to be sarcastic, much as Sheldon Cooper.

I have drawn below a typical scenario:

You are driving Car A, trying to overtake the huge truck when this Car B comes rushing from behind towards you blaring horns and tongs and asking you to give way. You can either just slow down and move left, or you can continue to overtake, thereby stalling Car B for a few extra seconds and hearing a lot of horn and getting under pressure.

The important thing to realize is that people repeatedly horn when they think they are being ignored, they need to be reassured that infact, their appeal to get side, is being listened to. So in a situation as described above, giving a "right" indicator, makes the driver of Car B feel special, as his horn blaring has led to a reaction from Car A's driver, his ego satisfied, he would stop honking. Now you can overtake with ease.

The scenario depicted above is also a very common occurrence on both highways as well as city roads, when a car is trying to enter your side of the road when you are speeding in. Now you have two extreme options:

1. You drive hard and fast, thereby scaring that driver enough that he remains behind. But if he moves in, you can't be saved!

2. You slow down to a halt, the other car can then easily cross.

3. You slow down, but only to the extent that you can stop if need be, at the same time aggressive enough with all horns blaring. It almost reminds me of how real life negotiations are done, tough enough to get a good deal, but not so tough that you lose it all!

I also drove on two way highway, at that time both my hands were on steering and dad noticed it. He asked me to relax. I dropped one of the hands below, and almost immediately felt a little light and easy in mind. Overtaking on two way highway is a very enjoyable challenge.

For some reason, light flash was seldom used during these two trips, but I personally find it more polite than honking.

While close gap overtaking, there is always a good amount of honking involved combined with totally ready to put the foot on the brakes. I retreat as soon as I realize that it would have to be either a sharp cut after overtake to avoid another vehicle in front, or the vehicle I am trying to overtake has gained more velocity making it difficult to overtake. Also, the distance to be kept between vehicles, is directly proportional to the speeds at which you are travelling.

Also, I do not like to drive behind buses even if they are going at good speeds, although they even clear the road for you. But you just cannot see any further on the road with those in front of you.

Lastly, when I am in my 70-80 range and allowing others to overtake, I frequently shift to the middle lane without even any honk from the vehicle coming from behind me. At such times, I almost feel offended if he honks. I feel like, "Hey! I thought we understood each other better than you needing to shout at me!!"

Whereas when I am in 90-110 domain, I prefer to honk while overtaking even if there's sufficient width on offer, just to be sure.

That completes my banal talks about science and philosophy of highway driving! Just for the sake of completeleness, I was driving WagonR. Thank you for making it through!

Edit: Important addition by Vyom Neeraj regarding another common scenario:

You're driving behind a huge truck with no way to overtake and can't even see the road ahead. You're flashing him with your headlights and also honking like crazy, but he ain't listening. You're really pissed and want to overtake this slow mover. Suddenly the truck moves to the side and u think u have a clear space to overtake. You speed up and shift gears and prepare to get out of this misery. That is when you immediately realize tht the truck was actually moving to a side because there was a huge bull sitting on the road and not infact to give you a clear space. You hit the brakes hard to slow down and are saved just in time.

This is usually the cause for many accidents. People should be really careful when they suddenly overtake a slow moving vehicle.

In Holy Matrimony

2011-02-20T12:09:00.002+05:30

My Big Brother, Ashish, yesterday got married to the pretty lady, Shikha. This poem I wrote in a burst of inspiration, dedicated to him and their holy matrimony. I felt awesome to get the opportunity to actually sing it out to quite a few people just before the bride and the bridegroom began their dinner; more like a toast without the drink ;)

Ashish obviously had concerns at me having read such a poem before his marriage ceremony got over.

IN HOLY MATRIMONY

His face is fat and chubby,

His mind is slow and tardy,

He has these weird expressions,

And he drives us total crazy!

He is my big brother,

Confident as he may seem,

But he is getting married tonight,

And that is never easy!

Let me rewind a little,

Share with you a secret past,

Don’t worry Ashu, its not scandalous,

It still just splits me in parts!

His younger saner brother,

Ankur is his name,

Warned me once not to ask,

JEE questions from the big brother ever again!

“Why?” I asked,

Shouldn’t I ask questions from him,

He has been preparing since 3 years,

Should be good I guess!

JEE is in two months,

He doesn’t want to get diffident,

In case he is unable to answer,

And that might very well be the case!

Alright, I said,

I won’t trouble him,

Let him give JEE in peace,

And hopefully he’ll get in!

He did get into Meta,

Said he would study hard,

Really, really hard,

And get into something which would actually make some sense!

All the best I said,

But it won’t be easy,

Don’t say that you fool,

I can very well do it!

He somehow managed,

To get his degree,

He somehow managed,

To get past the finish line!

But for some reason,

His life has always been very tough,

He never knew when they came when they went,

The teenage years I meant!

The best part about this fat champ,

Is not that he is always there with you having fun,

But it is the raw enthusiasm he displays,

In buying tickets for the show and sleeping once inside!

I will miss my pal,

He is getting married,

He would think that would put him on a higher pedestal,

But I assure you, that will not be the case!

Take care my dear friend,

Shikha, take care of yourself,

Now that you have nowhere to run,

What will keep you sane?

A Shrunken World

2011-02-05T12:51:00.007+05:30

Disclaimer: An extremely boring poem :D

As you and me laze around,

And my pen finds an inspiration,

Lets take you to the world,

Of a bird flying high in Utopia,

And a sailor traveling lands across the seas.

The bird was known as the Warmer,

It warmed the hearts of all,

Young and old, rich and poor,

With the beautiful twittering, unique to her alone!

People use to love her and give her grains aplenty,

Warmer was more than happy, with the way her life was running.

Now one fine day, the date slipped off my mind,

Comes a sailor from far away lands,

He was known as Oliver ‘Twist’.

Oliver was impressed by what he had heard of Warmer,

He called her out and told her thus,

“Hey Warmer! I am really impressed by you,

But why do you stay only in this land?

Come with me, I will take you places!

All these people here give you food coz you twitter so well,

The day you stop, they shall stop,

But I promise to always look after you,

And keep you ‘close and secure’.”

Warmer was impressed and charmed,

She lost her mind, hopped onto his hand and they set sail.

Warmer use to twitter throughout the ship’s deck,

Meet all the sailors,

But eventually come back to Oliver,

And twitter a special twitter for him.

Then there came storms,

He placed her in a cage,

He put water and food inside,

And faced the storm outside.

Warmer felt happy at the concern he showed,

And promised him from within,

That she’ll never leave him.

When the storms died, Oliver didn’t open the cage,

He wanted to keep her safe, from the other sailors on his ship.

Warmer again felt happy at first, by his care and affection,

He carefully picked up food, the best ones and gave it to her,

But with time, she started to feel miserable.

Her twittering started to die,

Her throat became hoarse,

She became croaky,

She told in vain to Oliver that Damn It! She wanted to fly!!

“But why do you wish to fly?

You got food, water shelter, security.

What else do you need?”

“Freedom”, said Warmer.

Oliver became furious and started yelling at her,

For being so ungrateful, after all his care.

Warmer lost her charm,

Oliver became ‘twisted’,

There was no more twittering around,

And Oliver turned frustrated.

Warmer was happy in Utopia,

She didn’t need to leave,

In quest of seeing different worlds,

She shrank her own world it seemed.

Oliver was a sailor,

He had seen many lands,

But the problem here was,

He just saw, never observed.

That’s all I remember in the story,

A story which I so very well remember,

It happened many, many years ago,

Although the year doesn’t matter.

EPILOGUE

She’s got a straw with which she can open the latch,

But she isn’t opening it,

Is she afraid of freedom?

Or does she want him to open it for her?

Or she is waiting for another sailor?

P.S. This was written to help a girl out of her misery in early 2008. She didn't use the straw.

Blankets for the Homeless

2010-12-24T02:20:00.005+05:30

Hi Guys,

Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? I don't, but I like to thank God for all the wonderful things that happen with me, around me. But that is what almost everyone of you wants to do in some way or not the other, ain't it?

A couple of months ago, I got my first TAship salary, which was a sizable amount considering we are students with few needs. My dad asked me to do some thing good with the money I receive and buy blankets for the homeless in this brazen winters. I jumped onto the idea and said will do so immediately when I get time. Due to placements and other occupations, it remained on the back-burner. In reality the whole operation of buying cheap blankets and distributing them doesn't take more than 4-5 hours. But our priorities are weird and selfish.

Since 4th of December, I have been pretty much free watching Prison Break at home and it is still not done. My dad admonished me for being careless a week ago and said that I don't really care for them. I defended myself and said that I do, but did I care enough? The answer is clear.

I asked my friend if he knew a place from where I could buy cheap blankets. He didn't, but he offered 1k from his side. Tomorrow I fly out of station for 10 days and today I somehow managed to get 21 blankets at wholesale rates (Rs. 100 per blanket). Tonight with dad, I went towards Lodhi Garden on the road in front of Sai Baba Mandir. No offence to anyone, but the location wasn't decided because it was in front of Sai Baba Mandir, but because we knew that quite a few homeless people sleep on the pavement there. When we reached, sure enough there were people of all age groups (3-70 years) who were wearing very few clothes to protect themselves and no blanket. This was at 11 at night, so it wasn't that they were wearing less to attract people to donate to them, they really didn't have blankets.

Above image is from this link (its worth reading)

When we started giving blankets there, inspite of the low no of people present at that time, there were still so many who rushed towards us. At the same time, and this is the worst part, I had to make a mental note of what the person is wearing, does he already have a blanket, is he coming back a second time. After distributing a few blankets to one group we move forward to another group. Then we run out of blankets and there is still this woman who says, "Is Viklaang ke liye to de dete" for an old man on a hand driven cycle. Damn I felt so sinful telling her that the blankets are over (they were over) and felt wrenched.

Friends, if there is something for which you thank God for, then help the children of God who suffer everyday. Please do something on your part. There is never enough virtuosity, there is never enough good. So don't be satisfied, go out and help now!!

I got the blankets from near Moti Nagar Metro Station. It was for Rs. 110/ blanket, but got 21 in 2k. M/s Om Textiles - 9250184986, 25112232. You can also get it from Sarojini Nagar - 9891169900.

I also came across this. Contribute and spread the word! In case you do make a contribution, enter it here in your comments, it will encourage others too :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Its Called Humanity

2010-07-30T21:17:00.004+05:30

This post has its share of "bloody" facts. So please read on only if you have the heart to read the same.

My close friend Pawan has a younger brother who lives in Bihar. He came all the way from Bihar to Ludhiana to get his distant cousin admitted in some college. When the train reached Ludhiana, his companion came out but he was in the washroom unaware of the fact that they had reached. When he realized that its Ludhiana, the train had already started moving and he tried to jump off it but got unfortunately entangled, dragged along the railway tracks and his legs came under the train.

He was immediately taken to CMC Ludhiana which is a reputed private hospital. It happened yesterday morning, Pawan took a train to Ludhiana and reached there by evening. I send an email to the electrical group of 2006 batch yesterday evening telling them about the situation; urging them all to join in the prayers. I also requested that anyone in Ludhiana should pay him a visit.

Thankfully our batchmate, Gaurav Aggarwal, lived in Ludhiana only and his dad is a doctor in CMC. He along with his dad stayed there till 2 at night and he updated me with the situation after coming back home. The update was that his hip joint had fractured, ribs had broken, stomach needed surgeries. The ugliest of the facts was that his left leg had to be amputated and they were taking a risk by not amputating the right leg as well.

3 units of blood was used up yesterday itself and a lot more was required when "today" started. Pawan already had spent more than 1 lakh rupees on the first day itself and had only a little more left. His family's economic condition not being so good, they couldn't afford much more than that, whereas at least 3-4 lakhs of expenditure more was staring them in their face. His parents would be reaching tomorrow.

I took Pawan's A/C no. and spread the news of his brother's accident by mail to the following groups of people:

1. B.Tech Electrical Student who were our batchmates and passed out this year
2. Our Shivalik batchmates who passed out this year
3. The dual degree students who are all his colleagues
4. Shivalik seniors
5. 4-5 close friends of mine

Without question/hesitation money started pouring in and by the end of the day we had more than 1 lakh transferred in his bank A/C. There is about 40k more which due to some reason hasn't been credited as yet. Plus there are many more seniors who will probably be transferring soon.

When I approached our ever-helpful Dean (UGS), Prof. Santanu Chaudhury regarding the problem, he suggested a circular mail to be sent internally in the Institute. We are waiting till Monday to ascertain the approximate amount that would be required in his treatment and will then send out the letter.

The touching thing was that the money kept flowing in without any further mails and even my close friends were more than willing to pay for his treatment. The unity showed by students, both near and far has been exemplary. There was even a student in Goa who offered to send the money from there in between his vacations. And its not that all of these guys have had too much of an interaction with Pawan, some of them just "know" him, like my own friends.

Also there has been a need to give back blood to the hospital to replace all the blood units that they are using up for Praveen. I went to hostel and along with my friend, Pankaj, inquired door to door if they know anyone in Ludhiana. We also contacted NSS friends and tried to make something work. Concurrently, we contacted other charitable hospitals in Ludhiana and also Art of Living foundation. The latest update is that we can get the required help from the volunteers in Art of Living. God Bless that foundation. Also my close friend who lives about 50km from Ludhiana has said that he is totally ready to go and donate blood at a moment's notice.

There is a high chance that Praveen's right leg may also have to be amputated. Please pray for him and May The Almighty give him and his family enough strength to handle the dire straits.

In case you wish to make a donation for this cause, please email me at "aditya dot deorha1[at]gmail dot com." I will give you the necessary details and will ask you to go ahead with the transaction/wait for sometime/no need of transaction according to the current situation known then.

It feels good to know that so many philanthropists exists between us. Amen.

Chronicles of a TA

2010-07-28T14:09:00.003+05:30

TA = Teaching Assistant

With semester just starting and TA duties being randomly assigned I was worried to get a tough duty somewhere for the whole semester. So I approached the concerned professor and got myself assigned Digital Electronics lab for the semester, Monday and Tuesday 2-5. I was supposed to report to Prof. Bhaumik under whom I had done VLSI course last year.

We had done this lab in the first semester of our 2nd year, that is exactly three years earlier. And I didn't exactly excel at the course. So, I was a little tentative and anxious and reached right at 2, the kind of punctuality I hadn't experience before. Prof. Bhaumik appeared a few minutes later, looking considerably pleased to see at least one TA for the lab, as the TAs were still to be assigned. I introduced myself to the lab in-charge and the related lab assistant and took the sheet of paper which was distributed to all the students.

It asked the students to design a circuit, which was in effect a 3 bit adder. I went around to every group (each group consisting of 2 students) and explained them in detail whatever I knew. As I went from 1st group to the 2nd somethings got clearer to me. As I went on along, many things which I had lost earlier, were recovered in mind. Like the floating connection, how to go about troubleshooting/debugging the circuit and so on and so forth. It really put a stamp on my conviction that Teaching is the best way to Learning.

There was also a table on which a single girl stood working on the circuit all alone. I went over to ask her where was her partner, she said she had missed it. She kind of looked pretty, but remember the glass ceiling on beauty in IIT? Well neway I decided to help her a bit more in case she needed as she was working singly.

There was also a group in which one of the guys was keeping his head in a very lazy position and his partner was working laboriously. It kind of reminded how I and Bharat use to work, me being the former guy. After an hour that lazy chap asked me to actually work out the circuit. I said no. After two hours he asked me if I could fraud sign for him! I asked him if he was from Delhi, he affirmed. I know Delhi kids :D

Moving back to that girl, after 4pm when some of the groups completed their experiments and moved on and she was among the few remaining, she began to make the now famous "puppy face". Her voice also changed to what girls feel can melt any guy's heart, the omnipresent "please please and almost teary voice". After sometime she told me she had almost completed I was like cool! After sometime I saw her packing off, "Wait a min, you didn't get it verified after completing it!". She said you said its cool! lolzz, make back the few connections you have dismantled and verify. I was not gonna leave her easy and have my fun :P

On Tuesday, a different group had come, but from the same electrical and computer science department. But the students appeared to be much more sincere/knowledgeable. When I asked on many of the tables in the beginning, "Do you know what you got to do?" A lot of them replied in affirmative without even as much as bothering to look back and speak! I was like, "Okay! Do you know what is XOR gate". Common reply was, "Exclusive Or". "Do you know the logical function?". "No." Duh!

But the best thing is that I really do enjoy teaching stuff to my colleagues or to my juniors. I have rarely got that chance after coming to IIT and this I take as a golden opportunity to really observe if I enjoy teaching. I actually stayed till 5:15 to make sure every group finished the exp; I then took leave. My Professor was more than just happy with my attitude.

See you guys, I hope it wasn't too boring! :)

First Brush with English songs

2010-07-11T17:10:00.006+05:30

This post is more born out of reminiscence than really trying to share something useful with you guys.

There are some songs which get attached to your life, like forever! You see that song, and remember the childhood days when you saw them. Mysterious girl, by Peter Andre, is one such song that I really use to love.

I was introduced to the world of English songs by me elder sisters, when i was like in 6th class. They use to turn on the radio in the morning to 102.6 FM and hear latest English songs from 7-8. I remember fighting with my sisters a lot many times when i wanted to watch some cricket and they use to switch on MTV or Channel V. Those were the times when stupid stuff like Splitsvilla, Dare to Date etc didn't exist and they were hubs of latest music round the clock.

I was considered a total nerd at school. According to wiki Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age-inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. No, sorry I wasn't a nerd but people didn't tend to agree which is pretty understandable. Once we went to Fun n food village and they had a dance floor where some of us were dancing. English songs were being played and since a very small child I have been a passionate and an awful dancer. So I was dancing and lip syncing at the same time and I still remember comment from one of the "cool" guys of our class, "Hume to nai lagta tha ki tu naachta bhi hoga aur ye gaane bhi aate honge" :P I almost said thanks to my sisters in my heart.. :)

I remember calling up on "iTV" about 55-60 times and getting "All Rise" song played on TV through that. I use to dance on that song and enjoyed it a hell lot! I had actually grown very masterful in getting the call through and I remember telling about it gloatingly to my dear friend, Vikas.

Now I see those songs, I remember my sisters who are both married and have gone down south, and I miss them. I even miss them calling Peter Andre sexy! lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9YHg07NLLc (Mysterious Girl)

I also remember complaining once to mom for my sisters hearing to "inappropriate" song,
"Oh baby, you're so fine
I'm gonna make you mine
Your lips they taste so sweet"

from the song, "Get Down" by Backstreet Boys, who were a hit at that time. Later on, I felt so so stupid :(

Have a good day guys!!

P.S. I remember the English songs playing at Fun n Food village! Going to Ibiza, Brazil! and Shake your bon bon!!

Ms. BLANK

2010-05-25T20:39:00.004+05:30

It was way back after I had cleared JEE and was enjoying some of the final days before college actually began. Now many of my colleagues (probably you) are passing out of college now and going in different directions. Have you noticed one thing? We try to meet up even with those people whom we haven't met much during the college life, who haven't really meant much to us. But still there is this thing about not knowing that when will you meet again, that we just want to meet once to have some distinct memories made up before we finally part.
4 years ago too, many of us would have gone through similar feelings. There was one female with whom I decided to meet through casual texting. Now you will ask what is casual texting, I will give an example.

"Hi wassup! Long time no see. Let us make a plan to meet up sometime before you leave"

Now if the above text is going to a close friend of yours, chance are you mean it. If its with an acquaintance, probably you haven't given a serious thought about actually meeting and its more of a message filler than anything else. At least that's how I function (Ya that's not good)

Now she texted me in the morning that well lets meet up at 2 at Priya (Vasant VIhar). Now when my holidays are going on I really just like to sit in front of my computer, with my legs resting on a high pedestal and slouch backwards in my comfortable chair. Then I wait for my breakfast to arrive, and then my lunch and then dinner. Just don't make me get up! This was more severe earlier, it is not that bad now :D

So it is 1 PM now, and I am like no confirmation till now, so lets wait for it before I get off my chair. 1:30, still no confirmation. She must have dropped it.

To be sure at about 1:50 I message her something like wassup, totally non committal and she says, almost reached Priya! I was like Oh Lord save me! She was dead serious about meeting and is certainly not a crouch bag like me!! I take bath (yes that's how gross I am during holidays and with nothing to do), wear a stupid capri and my routine t-shirt and run for an auto. It was about 2:15 when I got an auto. I message her and ask her to relax at Pizza Hut while I reach fighting my way over a huge jam (ya you guessed it right, there was none). And I finally reach at 2:30. I enter and go over to her.

For the first minute, she wasn't much reciprocative, though she didn't complain or anything. But that was because we had hardly talked in the last two years and she didn't feel that she had the required right to complain. Later though we did talk a lot and had good fun!

A couple of days later, I was at McDonalds in Priya with my sister. Enters that same girl.

Me: Hi!
Ms. X (with a dimpled smile): Hi, how are you?
Me: I am good. This is my sister, Sonal didi. And di, she's my friend, *blank* 3 seconds on, still a *blank* until she finally tells her name and then politely leaves.

I still cringe when I remember that *blank* :(

Also I ask, what's a date? Was it supposed to be a date in the first place which I anyway screwed up? Coz we were hardly friends. I don't know; its not clear to me, it may well never be ;)

Pinned To The Wall

2010-04-30T03:27:00.003+05:30

An IITian is told that the girl he's going to meet today is from LSR. Or an LSRite is told that she's going to meet a guy from IIT today. What's the first thing that comes to his/her mind? I leave that to your judgment.

Now you meet that person with a certain bias in mind, certain parameters set and you believe you're prepared. But when you do converse with him/her you feel some kind of deviation from what you thought that person will be. Then you start to alter the framework you made for that person and try to superimpose that person's behavior onto that imaginary framework, all the time remodeling to somehow fit. When you are unable to fit or remodel what do you do? You either ignore that deviation or you just keep it as a separate module which cannot be made part of that entire framework.

But what if when you meet a person you come with no prior expectations/bias. You create that framework of yours step by step from scratch as you interact with him/her. Don't you think you'll be finished with a more accurate structure?

Sorry for all the stupid stuff above but what I wanna say is this. Do not presume about people based on stuff like where they come from, what religion they follow, what gender they are, what is the color of their skin. In case you can't stop yourself from presuming, then do not be judgmental. In my first and second year of college I use to interact with a lot of people from colleges in DU and other engg colleges. A few of them use to say, "You are pretty different from what I assumed you will be, being an IITian." Dunno if they were compliments or criticism :P

But the point is that assumptions can be pretty wrong as you would yourself have experienced at some point in your life. I have assumed wrongly a lot of times and I continue doing so today. But what hurts is when some person randomly declares someone to be somebody, without interacting with him/her even the bare minimum required!

So point is at least don't be judgmental. Now what's judgmental? In the words of a great man,

"When you give an opinion, you do not have any expectation of it being accepted in the positive or not, and opinion is not to be justified ferociously. Also, your opinion should not adversely impact your attitude towards the thing/person.

Judgmental is the opposite its rigid, has an expectation of acceptance, affects your approach/attitude."

And here is a sample of my chat (or as I call it, my research work)

me: Suppose mai teri date fix karwaane laga hu

ek bandi hai IIT ki.. her name is Mansi

Comp sc dep

Mr. A: accha?

and?

me: ek hai Miranda college ki - Neha - B.A in Psychology

Mr. A: kya baat hai

me: aur ek hai Ludhiane ke - Chandni naam hai uska - B.CA from a regional college

Mr. A: ok..

itne saare dates?

me: lol

will u make assumptions before u meet them??

Mr. A: yeah somewhat will make assumptions

i will tell you how

IIT wali - i expect her to be of my wavelength, but might have more bhaav

but i think we would have lots of common to talk about

Miranda wali - she will be very fashionable, and expect me to be chivalrous and decently dressed and have a good attitude

talking with her can be very interesting

miranda girls find IITians puzzling

if you have a sense of humour, she will find you amusing and interesting

however, just be confident and dont get intimidated by her style

be cool , treat her like a college friend and she will be great fun

BCA from regional college - she will be reasonably fashionable, but she might be a bit prejudiced about you being an IITian geek

however, she is the one with least bhaav

IIT and Miranda girls have too much bhaav

so the "regional college" girl is someone who can be the normal girl next door

she can be a b*tch too, cant say

so in a way, you can make the least amount of predictions abt the regional college girl

IIT and Miranda girls are more or less known for their traits

me: my next question: shud u be making such assumptions in the first place?

Mr. A: arre dekh

some image you can carry

helps in making a good first impression

but dont be prejudiced against the person

let her reveal (her true nature!)

me:i actually chatted with antother guy right before u

but he said he didn't assume

i cudnt believe him!

Mr. A: everyone assumes

in fact they secretly want the girl to be hot

miranda - hottest

BCA - girl next door

IIT - geek with specs :D
me: That guy is a hardware techie
Mr. A: after working on EE hardware

this is what happens

you dont assume ANYthing about ANYthing

me: rofl!!

Mr. A: cause bludy nothing works!

I hope the title now makes sense to you. Its inspired from this poem.

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

Do listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg4trPZFUwc

Have a good time guys! Time to study for my two exams@today.

Goodnight ;)

P.S. A phrase from the book "catcher in the rye" -

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? ;)

P.P.S. All the names are for real, but the characters they represent are not!

Found Everything I Was Looking For

2010-04-20T00:35:00.005+05:30

1st day at IIT, my senior (I really respect her) said, "Tune apne address mei fraud nai maara? Tu ab attachee bana reh jayega.. They are treated as outcast." Well that stung, real hard.

First semester I was all over my Shivalik hostel! Even without my own room I was very close to it and use to stay at Vaneet's room.. I actually got "us" ragged by seniors coz I wanted to get the thrill of everything a hosteler should get. But inspite of all my efforts, I never got a room.
2nd and 3rd year, I drifted a little apart from my hostel friends. I had few and selected batti friends, Homo being the most notable one (he can't be neglected can he be?). I use to see videos (memoirs) showing hostelers getting all late for the morning class, not taking bath, eating food in the mess and just dancing like mad! But I on the other hand use to wake at quarter to seven, take bath and have breakfast, reach morning class on time, lunch from my tiffin box and go back home at 5. Too normal na? I wanted to be a part of the crowd, not stand outside it!

Come fourth year and definitely my best time began!! I came close to the most brilliant Bihari ever, Pawan! Stay at his room, dance with him, Rupesh, Pankaj, Meena, Gupta and Babba was all so memorable!! It started becoming really good.. I started looking forward to going to college to catch up with these very guys, they made me an integral part of their lives, they became an integral part of mine.. Our awesome batti google group (most thanks to Amrit who really ignited the spark within us all and made it self sufficient) helped me to get closer to each one of you.. Batti batch treat was memorable for us.. I felt closer than ever, I danced with Ranka, Chacha, Kinari, Monkay, Gupta, Ranjhor, Babba, Madar, Sood, Chawla, Amrit, Sachin, Prateek and practically everyone!! I knew I have always danced pretty crazy, but I enjoy doing that with people who are close and who laugh at you on your face, not on your back.. And that exactly is what these people are..

Now the fairwell came, and I was like how odd it would seem having our farewell an year in advance? But I was wrong, proved very wrong! Ek ghante mei maine aur Rupesh ne milke har dulle ke baarei mei ek line likhi, time kum tha isliye kuch reh bhi gaye.. I had to go up there with Rupa to say the names of my fellow mates.. I did it, but I could do it only because of the cheering that all the batti guys did after every name I called out! It was as Barney Stinson says, "AWESOME".. I secretly always wanted to speak on the stage.. I had done so in school, but never in college before..

Whenever I saw people dance on the Sem Hall stage, my heart craved to be up there with them, doing what they were doing.. Be a star of somesorts.. I got that chance today, though it was pretty much an idiotic performance but I danced with full enthu and even when I twisted my ankle midway I couldn't have stopped!! The charging currents had set in, I could see my mates all standing up and clap, how could I ever in the name of God stop? I just didn't care!! We did dance which somewhat resembled this :P

And then we started writing on T shirts of each other.. Some of my more cool friends made a not so cool picture on my T shirt, but I almost loved them for drawing anything on my T shirt.. Everyone writing on everyone's T shirt.. Now here I will go a little personal with details:

In 1st year, I asked a girl in HUN100 who was sitting next to me, "from what department are you?" Her neck turned left and she asked, "Why?". I said, "Just like that!" Obviously, it wasn't a good enough reason and she again turned left and asked, "Why?" Okay girl fine!

She turned out to be a batti batchmate.. Before rendezvous, I asked her, "As you will be in security, so can you help some of my friends to make it inside?" She smiled at me which I took as a positive sign and said, "Nahi".. I could never bring myself to talk to her again in the last 4 years. Neither did she.

But today, she came over and started writing something on my T shirt, I was taken aback but very pleased.. It almost felt like everything is right in this world.. The world is beautiful, everyone is angelic.. I too wrote something on her T shirt.. She was none other than Sushmita..

I felt in harmony with every single person in our batch.. I could write for anyone now.. There were no more bars..

So that was how everything I ever craved for, I finally got over a period of 4 years culminating into the best farewell imaginable by far!! Imagine our professors became a little senti and were actually standing up to record some of the performances!! They have been our guiding light and we know that even after we pass out of the college, when we do come back here they will greet us with open arms and wide smiles..

Kunal, you have been a brilliant G. Secy of EES making it all so memorable for us!! It was sheer persistence on your part that the testimonials were finally written by us idiots! You did much beyond this of course and I really wanted to thank you man! :)

All you B.Tech guys, don't dare calling us matkas! We are dullas for Pete's sake :P Do come to campus to visit us during the next one year for sure.. We will know who'll be paying the bill after lunch :D
My adrenaline is still rushing but time to signout and say one last time loud and clear,

JAI BATTI!!

JAI SHIVA!!

Angreji Bolni Aati Hai Kya?

2009-09-10T22:33:00.004+05:30

So my brand new Sony Ericsson K220i went for a ride! Its navigation key had gone Bazooka and charging was no longer reliable.. It was just 3 months since I bought it and here I go to the service centre in Lajpat Nagar..

Its no easy deal to find their service centre in the first place mind you. Its in a basement among residential apartments just a little away from the main market. They don't really have a big banner saying, Sony Ericsson Service Centre, probably so that at least a few customers go back on account of not finding it at all! Once inside there was a maddening rush. There was an electronic counter on top of the wall telling which guy is supposed to go in next and there were some people patiently looking at the counter and the muted IndiaTV streaming on an installed TV. Among all the breaking news (what's the plural of news?) that were coming I also figured that there were a group of guys not following any order and just being aggressive at the 3-4 counters that were there.

Now I took my no, 'twas 87 and the current no was 65. So I guessed if 5 minutes to 1 customers then 100 minutes is all I need to wait for.. But when after half an hour it just moved to 67, I was really feeling the heat! Then there was this lady who was being really mad at the guys and telling them, "Maine apna phone aapko chaar mahine pehle pakdaya tha! Har baar aati hu to do hafte baat ki date de dete ho! pichchle mahine ek phone pakdaya aur mai yakeen se keh sakti hu wo mera nai tha!! Wo wapas kiya to ab tak aapne mujhe mera phone kyu nai pakdaya!! Ab mai police ko bulaungi!!"

All this while the guy at the counter had this very disinterested look on his face and suppressed a yawn that was coming to him. I kind of freaked out! I mean I had given my phone to them 2 weeks back, they didn't send me the required confirmation but when I contacted their customer care, they said it had arrived.. What was gonna happen now? I called the guard who was lazing around and whose responsibility it was to give out counter nos and to keep control of the mob. He was really excellent at giving out the nos.

So I asked him, "Bhaiya ye sach hai ki logo ke phone mahino tak nai aate hai". Guard, "Haan ye baat to sach hai.. Angrezi bolni aati hai kya?"

I was completely shocked! Yes that can explain pretty much the stammering I could afford after that! "Ye ye ye yes, I do know English". "yes that only yes that, Englees mei bologe to kaam ho jayega!"

So I just went to the counter and said I have been waiting way too long for my no to come (I said it all in Hindi) and no one was really listening to me. Then I remembered the guard's advice and started complaining again but this time in English and woah it worked!! Not only the guy at the counter in front of me, but the people at other counters too looked up from their table/their customer and looked on as if something interesting had just ensued in their mundane life! A fight in English language! The guy suitably calmed me down and said that I will get my phone in a week for sure. I asked for it in written, I got it and I left feeling happy and surprised both.

Once our Humanities teacher, Ms. Angelie Multani ma'am, said that how strange it is that when she talks to the car repairman in English accented Hindi, he replies back in English as if trying to tell her that do you think we don't know English? And when she talks in English he replies back in Hindi, as if saying we are proud of our Hindi language! What's the reason for this duality? I have never been able to solve this mystery!!

P.S. After one week I did get a phone but it wasn't mine. I didn't risk giving it back to get my very own as mine had a scratch on its screen :P

TRAFFIC RULES

2008-07-15T00:53:00.001+05:30

Hello! My fans were missing me, so guess what? I am back!!

Well this is going to be a super short one.
It’s for all those drivers who do not give way when we honk them. They don’t allow us to pass, is it because of their ego, or because they are deaf and can’t hear the honk, or they don’t know that they are supposed to give side when someone is honking them from behind?

Ultimately because they do not give side, we have to over take from the left which is always a dangerous proposition! So all you drivers reading this take care when someone honks you!!

Also riding a motor bike is a passion in itself and it drives some people crazy. Unfortunately that craze results in problems for people driving cars as the crazy cuts that they make leaves them stumped! In case of any collision, the onus falls on the driver of the bigger automobile and the sympathies of the public and the law are normally with the bikers. So please cooperate!!

P.S. - No, am not frustrated. Just generally concerned.. For myself!

SPOOKY NIGHT

2008-05-19T03:07:00.001+05:30

Was working contently at quarter to three at night involving a project, in my house, currently inhabited only by me and my sister (who was sleeping at that time), when my landline, kept right besides my computer, whose number is available with scarce people, suddenly rang.

I was shocked for a moment. One I was merrily hearing a sweet romantic song, and two, the phone kept besides my computer has a very eerie kind of ring tone. It’s like the kind we have in movies in which murders are committed using a PCO booth. So in this petrified mood I picked up the phone and brought the words hello to my mouth. What I hear on the line? Oddly spaced beeps which are the kinds that are heard in MI when the phone is about to explode. Hopelessly I say hello a few more times half expecting the phone to explode any time. That was the kind of state I was in.

I managed to keep the phone only to be haunted by the noise of the storm, wait I wasn’t sure it was because of the storm, and so I decided to check the source of the sound that came. I scraped my way to the verandah and switched on the light. I saw nothing outside the open window in front of me except dark branches of a banyan tree. Not feeling contented I went up to the main door and switched on the bulb outside our main door from the inside. With great dread I looked out of the eye hole and felt no less spooked up when I saw there was nothing suspicious outside. I am a kind of guy who will do whatever he thinks he isn’t doing because he doesn’t have the balls to do it and at the same time needs to be done. I asked myself should I go out of my door. Had it been a movie I would have sworn at the actor who would have dared to go out to check it out. I thought I didn’t want to be sworn at by someone else who might go through tomorrow’s newspaper reading about an innocent boy being kidnapped, and I decided to retreat.

Phew, I came back to my computer still feeling a bit creepy and found this really nice friend of mine nicknamed vodka (oh he doesn’t really drink it!) who asked me to write a post on this. Well it is somehow making me feel better but guess what, am still feeling reluctant to sleep alone tonight!

Goodnight!

RELATION-SHIP

2008-04-19T10:01:00.000+05:30

Take care of your relation's ship. keep it afloat :)

Type rest of the post here

ITS ODD

2008-04-17T13:48:00.000+05:30

Around me I see relationships (Am being specific towards the romantic ones) which keep falling apart. Some of them have been longer than 2-3 years. They come up and give me a variety of reasons why they had left him (again I am being specific towards girls coming and telling me). Though I wish to console them, something which I used to till date, but now there are doubts which prevent me from being all sweet and sugary.

Take for instance a girl who tells me that the guy she had been dating since the last 3 years is over possessive and really insensitive. I asked her one fine day that since when did he become that way? You were really happy at first. She said well you know what he was always like that. I would have normally cringed at the thought and told her how did you manage to live with that guy and so on and so forth. What a bastard he is to have brought tears in your eyes. But something stops me from doing it now.

If he was always like that why did you continue with him for so long, more so because you always knew he was like that. “In the beginning it use to feel really nice that he was possessive about me. I used to feel protected and safe and it use to be a synonym for the fact that he loved me. But later on it started becoming troublesome and I could no longer sustain it and had to leave him.”

My interpretation to this might look really sadistic to some but that’s what it looked like to me. She felt nice that he was being possessive, which after some time started looking to her as over possessiveness. He might always have been over possessive but as they say love is blind. But anyway after suppose 6 months she realizes that oh god this guy is turning over possessive and its not easy for me this way and am feeling choked. So she will now try and change him. She will expect him to change. She will explain to him that, “Sweetheart I am always there for you.. I am not going anywhere with any of my friends or colleagues.. trust me!”. If he is unable to change himself that might just be the thing that she’ll do.

Now my point is that feelings like possessiveness are of the very innate nature, they are hard to satisfy and lessen by tools like logic. Understandable that she expected him to change. The guy is also trying to save their relationship’s ass and is giving himself reasons and assurances to lessen his possessiveness. But what if he is unable to? Is it his fault that he is like that? Is it his fault that even after trying hard enough he is unable to change himself. Well partly. But didn’t the girl accept him the way he was in the first place. Never mind this point too, at last she has realized that she has to leave him. But is it right to label him over possessive and someone who kept giving him tears in front of others after she has broken up with him in order to get sympathy and betray him like a bastard? I believe not.

There are other relationships around me in which I find the couple happy at times, crying most of the time, but still hanging on. They have been expecting each other to change from god knows when, but it just keeps worsening. The girl is under 20 and in spite of all this she has the balls (alternatives to this are welcomed) to say with firm belief to me that she and that guy are bound to marry. First of all, is the age mature enough to make such a decision, secondly before marriage this is the state, I dread to think of what might happen after. And ya there is a third point too, that if she is so sure about it then why at other times she keeps getting wavered so very easily. And when we quiz her at that time that why are you flirting with someone else, she says, “I am not happy with my relationship.” That’s a mighty surprise you know.

For people like her I wrote in the next post. Am sure ready to face some criticism for this article, but the bottom line is that in my eyes telling and acknowledging it to someone close about the weaknesses of your ex and the pains you had to face are fine, but terming him evil and sadist for reasons like over possessiveness and egoistic (another very intrinsic quality) is being a bit too brutal. So before you reach that situation in which you will have to crib, it’s the best if you don’t reach that state in the first place.

All the best with your loved one!

‘A’ SHRUNKEN WORLD

2008-04-17T13:00:00.000+05:30

This poem was a gift i gifted to someone i thought would need it. Later on i decided to put it up here in the hope that people who need it actually read it..

As you and me laze around,
And my pen finds an inspiration,
Lets take you to the world,
Of a bird flying high in Utopia,
And a sailor traveling lands across the seas.

The bird was known as the Warmer,
It warmed the hearts of all,
Young and old, rich and poor,
With the beautiful twittering, unique to her alone!

People use to love her and give her grains aplenty,
Warmer was more than happy, with the way her life was running.

Now one fine day, the date slipped off my mind,
Comes a sailor from far away lands,
He was known as Oliver ‘Twist’.

Oliver was impressed by what he had heard of Warmer,
He called her out and told her thus,
“Hey Warmer! I am really impressed by you,
But why do you stay only in this land?
Come with me, I will take you places!
All these people here give you food coz you twitter so well,
The day you stop, they shall stop,
But I promise to always look after you,
And keep you ‘close and secure’.”

Warmer was impressed and charmed,
She lost her ind, hopped onto his hand and they set sail.
Warmer use to twitter throughout the ship’s deck,
Meet all the sailors,
But eventually come back to Oliver,
And twitter a special twitter for him.

Then there came storms,
He placed her in a cage,
He put water and food inside,
And faced the storm outside.
Warmer felt happy at the concern he showed,
And promised him from within,
That she’ll never leave him.

When the storms died, Oliver didn’t open the cage,
He wanted to keep her safe, from the other sailors on his ship.

Warmer again felt happy at first, by his care and affection,
He carefully picked up food, the best ones and gave it to her,
But with time, she started to feel miserable.

Her twittering started to die,
Her throat became hoarse,
She became croaky,
She told in vain to Oliver that Damn It! She wanted to fly!!

“But why do you wish to fly?
You got food, water shelter, security.
What else do you need?”
“Freedom”, said Warmer.

Oliver became furious and started yelling at her,
For being so ungrateful, after all his care.

Warmer lost her charm,
Oliver became ‘twisted’,
There was no more twittering around,
And Oliver turned frustrated.

Warmer was happy in Utopia,
She didn’t need to leave,
In quest of seeing different worlds,
She shrank her own world it seemed.

Oliver was a sailor,
He had seen many lands,
But the problem here was,
He just saw, never observed.

That’s all I remember in the story,
A story which I so very well remember,
It happened many, many years ago,
Although the year doesn’t matter.

EPILOGUE

She’s got a straw with which she can open the latch,
But she isn’t opening it,
Is she afraid of freedom?
Or does she want him to open it for her?
Or she is waiting for another sailor?

COMPOSED BY A WELL WISHER WHO WISHES TO SEE RELATIONSHIPS AROUND HIM, SUCH THAT PEOPLE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE FOR THE RELATIONSHIPS, THE RELATIONSHIPS LIVE FOR THEM..

PAPA

2008-02-28T14:16:00.000+05:30

TAKE HIM ON!!

2008-02-14T10:48:00.000+05:30

Whom do you compete with? When you play what goes in your mind? What is the idea of being good? A few things which were hovering in my mind and I decided to jot them down for getting your viewpoint on the same.

We were having a discussion in our lecture class regarding why do we draw borders on the globe? There is no real border, like you don’t see a border line when you are crossing from one country to the other! Can there be something like a global citizenship? Can there be a global citizen?

We have communal feelings and that gives rise to communalism. We have a national flag, a national bird and we have nationalism. Suppose you are living right on the India-Pakistan border and you find someone suffering in your part of the country, you would rush to help him. Will exactly the same feeling of helping a person on the other side of the border suffering the same be born in you? If you are a nationalist, then maybe not. Compare this with a person who calls himself a global citizen, he will have no distinction in his mind.

Anything wrong in groupism? Well no judgments from my side but I will take the example of my hostel. There are 11 hostels in our institute and everyone loves their own institute. From this emerges a feeling of hostelism. So many times it has happened that before my match in an inter hostel event, my seniors would encourage me by saying, “usko jeetne nahin dena! us hostel ko pakka harana hai” instead of inspiring me by saying, “tujhe jeetna hai!!”. A bihari friend of mine recently send me a scrap, a part of which was this:

“Murder rate in Bihar is half of murder rate in Mumbai?

Rape is Bihar is 1/10th of Delhi?

Number of people killed in Bihar in communal violence is 1/75th
of Gujarat?

Naxalites in Bihar have killed less people than in Andhra Pradesh?”

So he felt that if only 5 girls are being raped in Bihar everday, it is good as it is 1/10th of rapes in Delhi? That is some progress!! Biharis would read this small extract and feel happy about the same and contented. Isn’t it a bit sad?

Well people would argue that terms like good, progressive are always relative. But I believe one should compete hard with oneself, better your previous records and go ahead of what you were a day ago!! That would always keep you on your toes. Once in a while compare yourself with others and see where you lie, but you try the hardest if you sincerely compete with yourself. Looking at people who are better than you can do three things:
1. You want to try harder so as to reach their level
2. You feel that you just can’t reach their level and lose hope
3. You start thinking of means of bringing the others down, something which I could smell in the statistics being delivered by my bihari friend.

I lost my badminton match the other day. I was feeling horrible. When I told my dad he told me that think of the happiness that the other person must be experiencing. Feel happy for him but at the same time try and improve yourself, try and find errors in your technique which you can improve on. In other world compete with yourself.

Someone might say that it is all a delusion in which I am living in. I am competing with myself so that eventually I compete with others. That’s absolutely true that I am going to compete against others at some point or not the other. But what I am talking about here is the approach you take with you when you take on him or her.

YOU MUST PLAY TO WIN AND NOT TO MAKE THE OTHER PERSON LOSE!

We know that Australians are better cricketers than us. When the racial allegations were doing rounds of the paper, one of my fellow bloggers observed one thing. Indians were elevating themselves in their own eyes by saying things like, “Australians are over aggressive and they don’t play the game in good spirit, but we are nice and gentle people who play the game in the right spirit”. At that point of time, the focus shifted from how India pathetically lost the 2nd match, in the most unthinkable ways by losing 3 wickets in the penultimate over, to the fact that we were good as we are better than them with regards to team spirit. In the process of blaming them, we stopped thinking that we need to really pick up our socks. We took joy in the fact that the Aussies are bad.

Finally for me healthy competition means not only the rules being followed fairly, the spirit to win but at the same time not being driven to play well to make the other person lose. And if we can get subsumed in that idea, than nationalism or communalism will not take ghostly turns. Remember nationalism is a bigger form of regionalism and also do remember what is going on in Maharashtra today. Please think deeply about it before commenting, as otherwise you might not be being true to yourself

EGO

2008-01-11T10:09:00.000+05:30

I had to blog today. I just had to give vent to the thoughts that have been spiraling in my mind in the past 2 days. So here I come blogging, bunking a lecture which isn’t really worth attending!

It is said that a guy wants that he should be the first guy in the girl’s life. Whereas, the girl wants that she should be the last girl in the guy’s life. Which of these two emotions if seen (or tried to be seen) from an unbiased point of view looks more appealing?

Before I go further I would like to tell why this question suddenly came to my mind. I just watched the first 30 minutes of the movie, “Indecent Proposal” and thoughts came rushing by. In that, the girl who is married to this guy, X, had some kind of history with another guy, Y. X for years kept himself from asking her that what actually might have gone between Y and his girl. But one day he could control it no more and he asks her that what happened between the two of you. She says leave it, nothing and stuff. But he insists and insists with a fear of what he might have to hear. She says half crying, “Sex, but sex without love”. The very next question that he asks, “So how was it? Was it good huh?”. She says, “Don’t do this to me!!”. But he insists and she says it was good. And suddenly he outwardly looks calm, a calm under which plethora of emotions must have been whirl pooling.

The first question that came to my mind was that would he have felt any better had she said it wasn’t good? I doubt it. It’s very doubtful that he wouldn’t have doubted her saying contrary to the truth. His male ego was hurting him. How could another guy satisfy her needs? Is there another reason behind the fact that why guys want that he should be the first one in her life? Well maybe the physical reason is also behind it. And am hoping that the readers would understand what that physically ever deteriorating aspect might be.

As for the woman, her emotions are entirely based on the future. She is with someone, with whom she is hopefully at present happy, and therefore would like to live the rest of the life with him only. No worries about what happened in the past of the guy. Maybe they don’t have the female version of the “male ego” in them because men are supposedly the ones stronger physically and their sexual powers are compared, right from childhood in frivolous mockery without any basis. We rarely talk about a woman satisfying the needs of a man, but we do talk about needs of a woman being satisfied by a man. And as for the physical aspect that further drove the male ego, obviously there is no female counterpart.

Then I pondered that how can someone have control over one’s ego. I thought of three things:

• LOVE
• TRUST
• LOGIC

I will give my own example, a small example. When I go shopping with my elder sister, and I see her deciding for me what I should buy for myself and what I shouldn’t, I feel a bit offended. I feel that I have to buy clothes for myself, why is she showing contempt towards my choice and thrusting her own choice? But then my hurt ego feels healed when the love for my sister comes into picture, the trust that I have on her choice and then finally I logically think that I would get better clothes if I buy what she is telling me and hence I should allow her to choose for me.

Similarly if a guy decides to go into a relationship with a girl who has a past, the biggest driving force for him will be the love that he has for her. The fact that he loves her would make the presence of that woman in her life at that present time the most important thing to him. The fact that he trusts her, would assure him that she wouldn’t go back to the previous guy again. And if all this wasn’t enough, the logical part inside him should clear off any physical aspect of the “male ego” hurting him still. It shouldn’t be large enough to bother him!

The examples i took were concentrated on the romantic relationship between a guy and girl, but the three points that i gave, i firmly believe, apply in all situations, the way i applied it in the shopping example.

As for whose ego is more justified, that I leave for you all to ponder. Maybe some inputs from girls would be favourable :)

Feeling better now and am hopeful you all would be having some opinion about it. Do let me know, if you do.

ORKUT SPAM

2007-12-06T10:11:00.000+05:30

How can people (including my friends) be so naive?

HEY ITS DIANNA, FROM THE DIRECTOR OF ORKUT,EVERYBODY SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION BUT ORKUT IS CLOSING THE SYSTEM DOWN BECAUSE TOO MANY BOTTERS ARE TAKING UP ALL THE NAMES, WE ONLY HAVE 57 NAMES LEFT,
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT, DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE, IF YOU WANT
TOKEEP YOUR ACCOUNT ,SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DONT SEND IT. THANKS DIRECTOR OFORKUT, TIM BUISKI. WHOEVER DOESNT SEND THIS MESSAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILLBEDEACTIVATED AND IT WILL COST YOU $ 10.00 A MONTH TO USE IT.

I had stopped checking orkut messages coz i knew it were being spammed.. Now wil i have to stop going through my scraps?? And i wish no one had created this send scraps to all friends feature!!

TRIBAL WARS

2007-08-05T15:26:00.000+05:30

Ironically, the inspiration for this post has been the reason for my inactivity in the blogosphere. Yes it’s the tribalwars!!

Introduced to me by my friend this game changed the course in which I was gonna spend my summer holidays. I was just (unfortunately still am ) totally addicted to it. Playing it for about 13-14 hours a day. First thing in the morning before even brushing my teeth and catching glance of the clock to check out the time. The dozens of movies that I had planned to watch all got soaked in mud. Why? Why is a strategy game like tribalwars and AOE so addictive is the question am gonna answer from my perspective. Plus few lessons I learnt from it.

Basically the game is about this : you are given an undeveloped village, u got to develop it, built troops, attack others and at a later stage capture villages of others. It is an MMO (Massively Multiplayer Online) game. And there are different worlds in there. There were about 80 thousand people playing the world in which I was intensely involved with. You are supposed to join a tribe and be loyal to the same. You can make allies with the people around you. After joining a tribe making personal allies around me was the first thing I did. I found two people around me who were just too good and too helpful. With the support of my allies I kept fending off two players who were one of the topmost players in the world and I eventually ended up as no.2 defender in the world. I lost finally though and guess the reason for that? One of our allies ditched us.

I showed selfishness in the game lot many times. I use to feel guilty, but the want of greater power in the game use to be overpowering and I use to give in. My friends told me it is just a game when I reflect back and think why I did it. But I believe that the way you play your game also depicts your self in the real world. So believe me am SELFISH!

The other question is that why is it so addictive. Simple reason! Its competitive and everyone tries to be stronger than the other. Bully the other guy with words, something which many of them (including me :P ) wont do in real life. It’s a different world altogether!

Anyone who wants to check out the game should log onto tribalwars.net

P.S. don’t kick my ass if you get addicted to it and screw up your studies!

TEENAGE LOVE – IV … THE NEW BEGINNING

2007-06-26T13:18:00.000+05:30

I always knew that she wasn’t flawless. But who is? Someone once told me that the vision of that one perfect, flawless person is somewhat similar to the illusion of a mirage. You keep trying to get to it, but you never really succeed.

Repeated rejections and sour behavior completely unexpected from a friend as old as her, made me more and more disillusioned. Could it be that she was trying to make me hate her? A very stupid thing to do coz by doing that she was irreversibly loosening the knots of friendship between us. And if it weren’t for that reason, it gave me all the more reason to start hating her.

Thus we grew distant in a very short frame of time. She was indulging herself in an activity which would have filled up her pocket no doubt, but it was firstly immoral and secondly there was a high chance that she could get into huge trouble. Someone whom I knew told me that some action was going to be taken against her. I pleaded to that person to let me try and bring her on the right track. Forgetting all the wrongs that might have occurred between us, I warned her of the associated risk she was getting involved with and the immorality attached with it. But she turned a deaf ear to my advice. Ignored it as if it were never there. I couldn’t watch her career sink as deep as the depths of any ocean that one could imagine. But it was no use pursuing her. What will eventually come out of that, no one knows for sure.

My friends asked me if I didn’t know that she was like this before I proposed her. I told them that she use to make mistakes before too, but on getting a reminder from me she use to terminate it. Maybe it was what went on between the two of us sometime earlier, or maybe she herself had changed this much that made her behave the way she did, I don’t claim to know. Or maybe love or who knows infatuation is really blind. Whatever but one thing is for sure

If it happens then its good, if not then its better and whatever happens is the best - Sunil Mehta

P.S. I think it’s the new beginning :) rather i hope..

NAMUNA

2007-06-16T23:45:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there was a boy named Chrinkal. He was in 6th class and was the connoisseur of every teacher of his class. He enjoyed studying and use to sail past his exams and quizzes. Then came a new student in his class. His name was Harauni. He was from a distant land (Assam to be more precise). Very soon he became the new cutie pie of all teachers. Harauni displaced him in terms of being the favorite student of all the teachers but at the same time became an eye sore for the entire class. Maybe they were habituated to seeing Chrinkal being given all the preference and couldn’t really bear the emergence of another competitor. Chrinkal didn’t like him, but couldn’t find any specific reason to hate him either.

Chrinkal was a helpful guy. He used to help his classmates mostly in academics ( that was like the only area in which he could have helped others ! ). He thought the people around him whom he helped would help him when he required it. But every time he faced a denial from the same people whom he once helped made him more and more resistant and hesitant towards helping others. In middle school he became a good sports player as well and was involved in different co-curricular activities. He thought he was a star. Good in so many things at the same time.

It was at such a time when Harauni shifted to a house near to Chrinkal’s house. Chrinkal at first wasn’t too excited to meet him. He had been a couple of times insulted by the teachers as well since he had entered the school. That too in front of the whole class when he least expected it to be his mistake. At the same time, Harauni’s reputation among classmates had also improved. Harauni, quite unexpectedly gave Chrinkal a Friendship Card and while giving it he asked him, quite sincerely, “Are you a foreigner?”. Chrinkal chuckled and said, “No! But why did you say so?”. “Maybe its because of your fair skin and golden colored hair”. Chrinkal had never been given such a compliment before. Wasn’t use to hear something good about his looks. If ever there were, it was for his academics. That broke the ice between them and they became reasonable friends.

They reached 9th class. Chrinkal was as usual machao in his academics, but Harauni was never far behind. Harauni use to study half of what Chrinkal did but still use to get reasonable marks. They came much closer as friends and only when you become close friends do your friends venture to point something wrong about you. He was a far more social able guy than Chrinkal and he told him that people, girls especially, used to consider Chrinkal as a very unreasonable and an unhelpful guy. Chrinkal was shaken. Here he was, after 11 years of stay in school, and there was none except Harauni who considered him to be a nice guy. He realized that maybe he had actually become less helpful. Hesitation in helping someone had increased manifold. But was he so bad? Whatever if everyone felt that way maybe there was actually something wrong in what he was doing. He talked to his dad who told him,

“When helping don’t expect help if and when you need it in the future.”

“If you give a one rupee coin to a beggar for 10 consecutive days and deny him on the 11th day, he might just forget all that you did for him in the past and remember what you just recently denied him”.

These two statements had a huge impact on Chrinkal.

He changed immensely. People started coming closer to him. Acquaintances became his friends and unknowns became friends. 10th class was going all fine till the behavior of Harauni started changing towards Chrinkal. Chrinkal use to consider Harauni as an ideal friend. Someone who can do anything and everything for you. Somehow a few of his friends and the craze of bettering him in academics made him distant from Chrinkal. He cried. Uncontrollably and suddenly, in spite of the many new “friends” around him, he felt lost. He had a crush on a girl but he didn’t have anyone to tell about it. He told her but faced rejection. Nothing was going right. The poor guy was all lost and out when one day Chrinkal called him up and apologized for what all he had done. He admitted his mistake and that was enough for Chrinkal to make him his soul mate. They now came closer than they were before. They had walks every night in which the ever confused Chrinkal use to tell him about his sorrows and utter confusions. There was something about Haruani’s brain coz he had the knack of solving problems with utter disdain. He was lazy if Chrinkal asked him to come for a movie with him, but was springing on his feet and running towards his house if Chrinkal actually needed him.

Chrinkal was a happy guy now. He had his best friend with him and his attitude towards the people around him had also changed. The walks that he had with Harauni also made him realize many other things about human psychology. He learned the way to deal with people in a way which shouldn’t hurt either them or he himself. He became more practical in the way he looked at things. Now when he talked on an issue he could do so with more conviction, not because he had more knowledge but because Harauni had gifted him the ability to defend and feel confident about one’s own point of view while at the same time not closing one’s eyes about other alternatives. His academics had meanwhile been running on the right track and he got into a college of his choice.

Now sitting on his couch one day, Chrinkal was pondering whether he had been a good enough friend of Harauni. He thought and rethought but simply just couldn’t locate a help good enough to be recalled. He use to thank God for giving him a friend as good as Harauni, but somehow there was never the feeling in him that he was using Harauni. He questioned himself that how come a guy who feels so thankful for every small bit done by his friends or acquaintances as if he didn’t deserve it, didn’t feel the same with Harauni?

He asked his father the same thing. He wasn’t too surprised and gave a simple reason for the same. You might hardly have ever helped him in the physical sense but mentally you were always willing to help him as much as he helped you. Thus there was no guilt in this case the way it was there in the other cases. Pretty much simple na?

P.S. NAMUNA refers to a guy of a different breed altogether. Those of you knowing hindi would know what it means exactly :)
I have been selfish in this post. It’s for my own satisfaction and might look boring and aimless to most of the readers. Apologetic for the same :(

FRIENDLY FAVOURS OR UNFRIENDLY MISUSE?

2007-06-04T12:01:00.000+05:30

Have always wondered if there exists a line between helping a friend and being misused by your friend, knowingly or unknowingly. If it is knowingly, then I would prefer not calling that person a friend.

You must have sometime or not the other faced a situation in which you felt slightly hesitant in helping your friend. What is the reason for that? You might have questioned yourself that in spite of the fact that he is your friend why then is there this hesitation in helping him? Is it coz you feel that he is misusing you? Then the question comes that what do you call being misused? Most of the time when you help someone you have to sacrifice a little bit. What sacrifice is the maximum that you can afford to give is what decides the limit after which you start feeling that you are being misused.

Placing a limit on the maximum sacrifice for a friend, does seem a bit “unromantic”. I mean we are supposed to lay our lives for our friends, aint it? For the starters, that kind of friendship does exists but is very far and few. I mentioned in one of the previous posts that friendship should be gauged in terms of help given in real necessary conditions and not the normal mundane things. I believe when your friend doesn’t work hard enough himself coz he expects that you would help him later on could be a case of misusing you. Or in more common terms is taking you for granted.

Recently I had to paste lots of posters in my locality for some reason. Believe me it’s a very tedious job but there is this friend of mine who himself volunteered (for the record he is one of my most trusted friends and is 3 years elder to me) to help me in the task. In the evening we set rolling, I just had to hold the posters and he was doing the tedious job of pasting them.

Later on my stupid mind set rolling. Pasting of posters was something which I could have done myself too and his help wasn’t absolutely essential. I felt a bit discomfort. Did I use his goodness? I hadn’t even asked him to help me. So there wouldn’t have been any hard feelings had he not come along. If there would have been another guy who needn’t have been as benevolent as my previous friend he mightn’t have done so even on request. For him it could have been a clear case of misuse as defined by me earlier. Clearly I fail in this quest of drawing the line.

Then there was this guy who used to help me with my CSL assignments (basically they were shitty computer assignments). Not only did he use to help me in making my algorithm but also quite a few times made the entire program for me, once one day before the minor exams. I was clearly overwhelmed. The same feeling of misusing my friend starting haunting me and when the turn of the last assignment came, I didn’t submit it as I couldn’t do it myself (or in other words had been assuming his help for granted and had stopped trying myself hard enough) and didn’t want him to waste anymore time on my assignments.

There are other situations when you do accept the other person as your friend but his feelings for you are purer as compared to your own. He would be ready to help you in situations in which you might back out. These situations again force me to think whether I should take his help or not. You cant really start measuring how much help you have done for your friend and how much has he done for you. What matters is the amount of devotion you give to that relationship. I, for one, feel uncomfortable when difference in care or emotions sets in between two friends.

“I want my friend to miss me till I miss him”

I feel slightly burdened, guilty if you say so if someone starts showing too much care for me. I feel like, “Do I deserve this?”. And if such a person wants to help me, though willingly, I feel a little hesitant in accepting the same.

You might wonder why? Why am I thinking so much about all this? It is coz my friends have really helped me in really tough situations and I know they would always remain there with me. But sometimes I keep getting onto a state in which I think am I as helpful towards them as they are towards me. Do I get selfish at times? I hope not and I feel we shouldn’t. But as one great friend of mine preaches

“There usually is a difference between what we ought to do and what we actually do”

25 THINGS I WISH TO DO B4 I DIE...

2007-05-25T18:42:00.000+05:30

This is for you Nishi.. Actually it is a birthday gift for “My world, My dreams” :)

1.Give happiness to my parents to the best of my abilities. I know i can never repay them, no kid can, but i really want them to know how grateful i am towards them for all the sacrifices they have made for me

2.To find the true love of my life, basically to recognize the same!

3.To remain forever with my bunch of cool buddies, proximity if not physically then atleast mentally

4.To agree to my dear friend ( pseudo mom!! )vaishali and get actively involved in social service, especially for the blind

5.To have a cg of atleast an 8 before i leave my institute

6.I dream of becoming the Sports Secy of my hostel

7.Get selected in the inter-iit sports meet atleast once

8.Become a good debater

9.Try and cleanse the politics of our country to the maximum extent that i can

10.Become a less pyched up individual than what i am right now

11.Get close to Hrithik in terms of physique!!

12.Get trained in some form of martial arts

13.Learn the art of dancing

14.Get an opportunity to do bungee jumping! I dream about it!!

15.Listen to my dad and start sleeping and waking up on time

16.Practice yoga!

17.Visit a Switzerland atleast once in my life

18.Read Thomas Hardy's entire collection

19.Make my own ideas of spirituality clearer to myself

20.Be the proud owner of a lamborghini ;)

21.Write an autobiography!

22.Understand the difference between love and infatuation

23.Become a renowned teacher. I know that sounds funny but i love teaching!!

24.Get my blog listed in the top 100 in the world ;)

25.Learn how to remain contented with just 25 wishes..

P.S. SORRY FOR THE DELAY.. BUT I WAS WAITING FOR THE CORRECT MOMENT!
I PASS THIS TAG ONTO THE PUNK PRINCESS... ARUNIMA

ADAPTATION AND EVOLUTION

2007-05-23T14:33:00.000+05:30

Throughout my school life or at least till my high school, I have always been behind most of my stud colleagues. Stud in terms of awareness regarding how people get involved in relationships, why do they get into them and how are they able to muster enough courage to tell the person they like that they do.

Frankly speaking, I wasn’t the always into my books kind, but was still a total ignorant in such matters. More into other stuff like sports, dramatics and the like. Never really felt interested in venturing in such spheres. When I completed my 12th, I used to hear some of my friends talk about how much “masti” they had on that front throughout their school life and counting out the no of boyfriends or girlfriends they had. For a small period I asked myself, “Did I miss out on some serious fun. “If you would have been into that kinda stuff, you mightn’t have been where you are”, came the answer from within.

These days I am giving tuitions to kids between 9th and 12th class and one 12th pass out. There is this 10th class girl who has an ever smiling face. Smiling without reason all the time (which basically is good for health :p) . His brother who has just completed his 12th (or in other words given boards and am expecting him to clear them cleanly ) also comes for the tuitions. Now the guy cant help but tell the incidents related to his romantic life during the class timings ( dey just don’t respect their parent’s money, do they!! ). And, well, the girl isn’t too different either.

The other day she told me that don’t keep tuitions between 12 to 3 in the afternoon because I have to go to CP. I jokingly asked her,

“Kyun kisi ka breakup hona hai?”.
“Nahin patch up!!”.
“Oh u mean Make-up.. cool”.
“Bhaiya aap mazaak kyun uda rahe hai?”.
“Mai mazaak kaha uda raha huun? I hope teri dost ka make-up ho jaye.”

Though both gloated over their girl-friend and boy-friend, there was a little bit of a difference. The guy actually said that he cant live without her gf. While the girl was basically the kind who wouldn’t freak out if she had a breakup there and then. “Its becoming more of fashion nowadays”. I felt.

I wondered than, a little frustrated, that don’t these people spend just about too much time in such, sometimes, frivolous activities, when they ought to be concentrating on their studies? I mean even the most stud guys of our time ( i.e. 3 years back when I was in 10th ) weren’t so much into this break-up and make-up stuff! I felt that maybe the amount of exposure that I had to such things ( limited to talking on phone with girls, being their good “friends” and meeting up occasionally ) was just right. The kind of interactions that occur now, with kids doing what I still might not do, is maybe over-exposure to too much stuff much too soon for their own good. Are they growing up much faster?

Then another reply came to my mind (with the assistance of a genius friend of mine ;) ), that even our parents felt the same about us. The engineers of this generation are surely not worse than the engineers of previous generations. My dad didn’t have a phone when he was a student, forget emails and stuff. And he excelled at that time. Had he been born in this generation he would have still coped up with the conditions prevailing currently and would have surely come out trumps. Basically what I want to convey was that whatever exposure occurs, the quality of the best would never go down. “Genius isn’t a genius for a particular generation, but are raved about in generations that follow.” Its like if you compare the older tennis matches and today’s matches you would find that the matches that take place today are much faster and that the average technique of players has also improved. Pete Sampras’s game mightn’t look as good as Federer’s, but bring them both in the same generation, and I assure you its gonna be a hell lot competitive!

All this I feel is best explained by the one and only “CHARLES DARWIN” with the brilliant terms called, “ADAPTATION” and “EVOLUTION”. Hats off to you Darwin. Never thought reading about you in my school books could have ever helped me in understanding this real life problem!

Thank you for going over this crap ;)

P.S. I HOPE THE TITLE WOULDN’T HAVE DRIVEN AWAY MY READERS!!

A MINOR... INCIDENT

2007-05-18T23:40:00.000+05:30

Busy with all the things i am upto nowadays ( believe me, i am) i dont really get time to tidy myself up. I believe its the lack of time. But some incidents make me wonder, that why, why dont i take more care of what i wear???

I was assigned with an important assignment yesterday evening to pickup my dad from his office, hardly 3 km away. Mom barely managed to move me from my squatted position in front of my new love, Lira (dont worry gals, thats the name of my new comp). Promising Lira that i would be back on my seat within 20 minutes flat, I took the car's key and license and fled off without giving a thought about changing my ill clad figure (even if any thought came, i shrugged it off by saying, "just have to pickup up my dad.. no one else!!" )and shot off in the direction of the office. I was still inside the realms of my colony when i saw a blue maruti model ( definitely newer than my own model! ) trying to get into the road from my right side throught a cut. As i was coming with some speed, and had basically reached that point before her, i expected her to slow down and wait for me to pass, and rightly so. But the girl (yeah yeah.. what else could you expect?? ) didnt even look this side and bumped her car right into mine. "OUCH! "was what she said. I felt rather differently and shouted, "what the hell!! cant you even look before you take a turn?". I took my car a bit further up, stopped, came out and intensely surveyed my car ( which had incidentally come from servicing the very same day ) and found no damage done. But in the process of watching over my little beauty i was keeping the momentum going ( i didnt fascinate the idea of she and her mother squaring me up with the assistance of a traffic policeman coming from behind!! ) by asking aloud the question regarding her driving skills.

It was then that she came out of her car; and as i looked on completely stunned by her rosy cheeks and beautiful eyes and a perfect figure and at the same time embarrassed by my own attire consisiting of my shorts, vest and well (i hate to say that!!) chappals, she said, "I am sooooo soorryyy!!". It was one of the sweetest apologies i had ever come across in my entire life and that too from someone so.. so beautiful!! I was like, "Its K, there isnt much damage done anyway." She was like, "Oh thanks!" and a wave of relief spread over her, it was like the spreading of sun's rays over the mountains on an early morning... I wonder if i could have asked for anything more than her sorry even if some damage had been done.. Later on ( a few seconds that is after getting into my car ) i rebuffed myself for not surveying her car and like a gentleman ask if there was any damage done to it. But as someone rightly put it, its all in the dress..

SECTION 125

2007-05-16T13:09:00.000+05:30

Its not too uncommon to hear about wives suing their husband for want of grievance payment, basically for the maintenance of them and their children. How about a role reversal?

Surprised? You wouldn’t be if you had already read it in today’s copy of TOI. But for starters I was both surprised and at the same time an instinctive feeling of justness attached with the case engulfed me. In this bizarre case Pravinkumar Jayantilal Nagrecha, the victim in this case, demanded maintenance from his better off wife who is a doctor. He said that he was sacked by Reliance in 2002, as he had to take frequent leaves to attend as many as 15 court cases in three cities filed against him by his wife.

Unfortunately the two things when I think of a divorce taking place are ;
i) the pang of separation for not only the couple but also the child who has to go one way or not the other.
ii)the compensation which wives demand from their husbands. Every rule can be twisted and used for use or misuse by people, and Section 125 is no different.

It states the following, “If any person having sufficient means neglects or refuses to maintain his father or mother, unable to maintain himself or herself, a Magistrate of the first class may, upon proof of such neglect or refusal, order such person to make a monthly allowance for the maintenance of his wife or such child, father or mother, at such monthly rate not exceeding five hundred rupees in the whole, as such Magistrate thinks fit, and to pay the same to such person as the Magistrate may from time to time direct.”

My question is why only “his wife”? Why not the husband? Isn’t even this against the spirit of non discrimination? When on one hand women demand equal rights, at the same time shouldn’t they also carry equal responsibility? Yes husbands are usually the bread winners, but haven’t the times changed? Haven’t the ladies become nearly as independent as men? At least in the context of earning their livelihood? I didn’t have the time to look into the details in the foreign countries. But we do hear about rich actresses suing their husbands with millions of dollars in the name of “compensation”. Will they really come on the road if they don’t get that compensation? I really don’t know. Actually I don’t think so.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Husband_seeks_maintenance/articleshow/2050715.cms

P.S. NO OFFENCE TO ANY WOMAN WHO DOESN’T THINK THE WAY THAT SOME WOMAN DO WHILE DEMANDING FOR COMPENSATION AT THE TIME OF DIVORCE. AND I KNOW THAT NONE OF MY BLOG READERS THINK THE WAY “THEY” DO.
CHEERS!

ONE LINER

2007-05-09T14:44:00.000+05:30

What do you call a woman with half a brain?

GIFTED!!

LOVE… OR ARRANGED LOVE?

2007-05-06T12:28:00.000+05:30

A typical ad for a matrimonial agency:

Punjabi parents desire beautiful, professional, never married, Indian raised girl for handsome son, 34, 5’10”/150, fair, slim, athletic, engineer/MBA, consultant in Noida area. Enjoys travel, sports, music.

When parents go looking for a spouse for their child, they consider beauty, ethnicity, religion, education, social/financial status and even horoscopes. Which of these criteria are superficial? There are times when a guy’s mom would reject girls because of the smallest “defects” in physical appearance. Or because of the girl being a bit older than the guy (even by a few months).

People say that there were more of arranged marriages in older times (by that I mean 10 – 15 years) and consequently marriages were successful then. It [arranged marriage] works better than Americans’ impulsive love marriages, which so often split apart. “We have less divorce,” advocates of arranged marriages might point out.

But are divorce rates really a measure of successful marriage? Do all the couples that don’t get divorced stay happy with each other? The prevalence of divorce in a society depends on a lot of factors including the stigma of divorce.

In fact, the advantages and drawbacks of arranged marriages can’t be so easily appraised. The incidence of divorce among Indian is dramatically lower than among Americans generally, but that partly reflects the continuing stigma of divorce. Even as the divorce rate among Indians appears to be increasing, the topic is rarely discussed. Divorce reflects poorly on an Indian family, and some proportion of arranged marriages endure not because they are successful or rewarding, but because leaving them would bring such shame.

And many endure because the definition of success differs from Western ideas. Traditional Indians don’t expect a partner to be that improbable combination of soul mate/confidante/red-hot lover/best friend. The husband-wife bond is one of reliability and dependability and complementary family roles – raising children, caring for elders. They may communicate very little in intimate ways, and it’s still a good marriage.”

Now, maybe it’s the western influence, but it requires only a few quarrels between the couple for them to start thinking that well maybe he isn’t the right person for me. Friends start asking them, “How come you able to live up with him/her? “. A couple of days more and a highly paid lawyer comes up at their doorstep and convinces them that divorce wont be tough at all. Basically the ease with which the law allows you to break marriages more or less has had an impact on the number of long lasting marriages today.

Well arranged marriages which take place today are not the kind which used to happen earlier. Generally the two most important people involved are given more chances to meet each other in order to “know” each other. I have seen one of my own close relative going through the process of looking for the “right” groom. In the beginning they are given a lot of liberty to choose. But when they keep rejecting too many grooms on one ground or the other, the parents start becoming tensed and ponder whether their daughter’s marriage is jinxed or something. This in turn results in pressure on the girl to choose someone quickly. Which brings us close to the kind of era where a single meeting (like my own parent’s) was enough for marriage to get fixed.

When I used to hear the kind of reasons which my close relative use to give for rejecting the guy, it made me think. There were reasons like “He is too shy”, “He has stuttering English”, “His mom looks very strict to me”, “His salary isn’t in six digits”, “He doesn’t like partying, something which I love”, “He has this odd spot near his chin”. Not that I can accuse her of feeling unhappy due to these qualities, because every girl has this image of a perfect guy entrenched in her mind. It’s a different issue that such a perfect guy she might never come across, or he might be too perfect to consider her. But when you fall in love with someone then you don’t remember the parameters you had set for your partner. Things like a six digit salary and that her mom is strict takes a backseat. Its HE who matters. People might argue that in such cases after the marriage takes place, such defects start looking stark. Yes they might start looking conspicuous, but at the end of the day if you really love with him, and by loving I mean LOVING and not just the frivolous puppy love which people mistake as love, then you ought to have the heart to accept such things. You can then compromise. But in case of an arranged marriage in TODAY’S world, the person might as well divorce and say” TATA” before giving it another thought. And when it is an arranged marriage and something goes wrong, the bride or maybe even the groom might then tell their parents, “Look this is the guy you selected for me!!”. In case of a Love marriage though, THE RESPONSIBILITY LIES ENTIRELY WITH YOU. This I am saying excluding that sect of couples which might later on go to their parents telling them, “Why the hell didnt you stop me from marrying this guy I loved? I was blind in love, but you should have stopped me. Its all your fault!”

Then another question which comes to my mind is that if you aren’t able to find the right guy among the dozens you keep meeting at your workplace or neighbourhood then how can you expect to find one among the few offers which come your way in case of an arranged marriage? You might be fortunate, but the chances are still slim. And when a girl and the guy unite through an arranged marriage, there is a very strong possibility that they are able to camouflage their real self in front of the other person in pursuit of looking eligible, before the marriage takes place. The things which really matter and which determine the “Compatibility” factor can’t be gauged from those meetings. I believe you need to know that person as a friend first for knowing the weaknesses in him/her. If after a few meetings you feel that the guy is perfect, in case of an arranged marriage, than I daresay there must be something really wrong which is hidden, coz I believe NO ONE IS PERFECT AND WHETHER LOVE OR ARRANGED MARRIAGE, YOU NEED TO COMPROMISE AT SOME POINT OF TIME! But as I again feel, compromise, in case you love the guy you compromising for, is far easier than another guy who has been stacked to you.

A final question to anyone who favors arranged marriage and specially those who don’t want the couple to get to know each other before marriage: What do you think about having sex with a stranger to whom you are married? Or do you think a couple like that should wait until they know each other better? I HOPE YOU REMEMBER

“Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.”

Teenage Love III... The Present

2007-05-01T19:40:00.000+05:30

I turned 19. We came out of school and into college. I had realized how dangerous it is to get into a relationship without being very sure about the kind of person you are going to get committed to. Like a famous quote in hindi “ek baar doodh ka jala hua chaanch bhi foonk foonk ke peeta hai”.

Maybe it was the fact that both of us were now not committed, but the dormant feelings started waking up from their hibernation. I couldn’t be sure yet again. How could I be sure whether it was true love or just another case out of the many cases of silly infatuations? I didn't want to be wrong again. So I kept quiet. I patiently remained quiet until I realized that my feelings for her were more than mere lust, but that she did not reciprocate these feelings. It all felt like a delusion. I just wanted to confirm it to get rid of the uncertainty attached with it. Our friendship was at its peak. I still, out of desperation and an eternal hope which emerges from a fervent desire for something, wanted to give it a shot. A shot which I feared could put our ship of friendship on a vociferous sea full of giant waves, eager to wreck it into pieces. But am sure you know the word; HOPE.

Unfortunately it (hope) dint last long. My worst fears were confirmed. Really good friends find it hard to get into a relationship of that kind, was her one defence. But for me, commitment can only be to a person whom I know in and out and for that she needs to be my friend. A very good friend actually. She cant imagine me to be in that kind of relationship with her. But as another good friend of mine believes “Relationships aren’t imagined, they can just be felt. And they can be felt only if they are tried.”

Plus she had suffered in her earlier relationships and had lost her faith in it. She felt friendship was a much better cause to live for than the other, much harder commitment that I was trying to seek. I remembered another famous quote by some famous personality (whose name I don’t know :P ) “Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”

This wasn’t all. She was also the friend of my ex, and she asked me that how would she be able to show her face to her if suppose she starts going around with me? A valid point for sure. Definitely my penance wasn’t enough. Law of karma, in which I believe immensely, was definitely in motion. The past was repeating itself and there was no way I could deny it.

My heart still tells me that there is hope. That maybe my ex is the only reason why she doesn’t even want to try. But what do I do? Keep suffering the ignominy
of a mistake that I committed long ago? How do I convince her that maybe I am the channel she has been browsing for on her TV set, but just that she needs to fine tune her frequency a little bit to get a clearer picture? Can any of you help me get out of this feeling of utter helplessness?

Teenage Love II

2007-04-25T00:37:00.000+05:30

I turned 17. We both grew up with the knowledge that I liked Trishna, as more than just a friend. We were proud and protective of our friendship, however, so we avoided this topic. There was a void, or at least I sensed one.

It was the sort of void created when you wish there is someone around you, whose shoulder you can rest your head upon, with whom you can discuss anything on your mind. There were friends for that, I reasoned. There wasn't really any desire for sex. But my rather immature heart won the battle and attraction started to take on more meaning in my life than ever before. And I forgot the moral I learned in the previous post.

In the meantime she too fell in love with someone else and started dating him. Their relationship was quite serious. This, and my own commitments, made dormant my own feelings for her; they took a back seat, as you might say. My own relationship didn’t last too long: a relationship based on a void in feeling can't last forever; one can compromise, but not when one's heart is altogether somewhere else.

I remained remorseful after we broke up; she was a sensitive girl and couldn’t take it very easily. Starting the relationship in the first place had been a terrible mistake on my part, but ending it was inevitable. I had to make amends, but the damage could never be fully undone. Injuries may heal, but bruises remain. The best I could do was remain a trustworthy friend, which I have been (and still am) to the best of my ability.

Trishna’s relationship didn't last long either. We sometimes fail to appreciate the extent to which unforeseen situations affect our lives. Just when I thought that nothing could possibly threaten the stability of her relationship, something happened that did exactly that. “Man proposes, God disposes” as they say.

Teenage Love I

2007-04-09T12:19:00.000+05:30

I still remember the first time I spoke to her in the music shop. It was summer vacations and I was doing a part time job in Planet M. She studied with me in class 10^th. I always wanted to speak to her but could never gather enough..

..courage to do so. And then one day lady luck shined on me. She was looking for Britney Spears audio CD and could not find one. There she was trying hard to find out when I approached her and said “Hi Trishna, MAY I HELP YOU”. She smiled at me and told me what she was looking for. And it all started, we talked all about Britney Spears, her songs, her clothes, her marriages and about other bands like backstreet boys. It was the best day in my life. I was the happiest boy on earth. That night I could not sleep and was thinking whether I should call her. She had given me her cell number and had asked me to call. After thinking hundred and one times, I messaged her. My happiness knew no bounds when I got the reply. The whole night our mobile phones kept beeping. This went for the rest of the summer holidays. All the money that I used to earn was spent on mobile phone recharge card.

After the vacations we met on the first day and we sat together in the class. All the other boys were so jealous. I could see it on their faces. My friends asked me for tips on how to get girlfriends. My friendship with her was good for me because to impress her I started studying very hard. One day a friend asked “ADI what is the secret behind your good scores”. I proudly replied “Behind every successful man there is a woman”.

My elder sister is working and I hardly get time to talk to her because of her busy schedule. On a particular Sunday I told her about Trishna and how I felt for her. She started laughing and told me that I was just a kid. I was very annoyed. We had a real long debate on this. My line of argument was that how is a heart of 26 years old different from a 16 years old and why cant a heart of 16 year old fall in love.

It was only after a few days I realized what my sister wanted to tell. She meant at different ages we have different priority. The people who are successful in life they know what is important and what is not. She did not mean that loving somebody was wrong but rather than spending time talking to her, I could utilize the same time for preparing for board examinations. There is nothing like having good friends whether the person is a boy or a girl. All my good friends never let me go wrong in anything and will be the first one to stop me from doing something wrong; and Trishna was no exception. We talk about what is right and what is not. I discuss with her before taking any decisions and she is the best critic I could get. I guess I am still in love with her but more than anything I consider her my best friend. A friend I can depend on and could talk my heart out whenever there is no one around.

Most of my friends and their girlfriends, don’t know where they will be after a few year. They also know that in few years time they might not even know the mobile numbers or email id of the girl they love most at this point of time. But Trishna and I are different. We are friends, we know each other so well and I know whenever I need her, she will just be a PHONE CALL AWAY...

Lil Adventure

2007-04-09T05:16:00.000+05:30

Yeah yeah I know it was a long wait for all my eagerly waiting blog fans :p .. but as you can see I was a little bit busy with asking my mentor, Himanshu, to pen down his beautiful fundas on politics, not just at the IIT level but also at a larger scale.. So I really couldn’t get much time for updating my own blog.. So here I go!!

I went on a short visit this weekend with my parents and sister to get in touch with my grandparents and buajis and mamaji and well a few other near and dear ones. Yesterday afternoon after completing most of my visits, we went over to the shop of my grandfather’s younger brother. And there I found a very young mule tethered to the tree in their backyard, munching away some green stuff happily away. Now those who don’t know let me just mention that mule is actually a hybrid species of a horse and a donkey. So it has the speed of a horse and the stamina and a very dangerous rear kick of a donkey!! I was just watching it munch from a safe distance when my dad, having a glitter in his eyes, asked my grandfather if I could ride the mule. My hope that he would put down the request didn’t last long as he got up from his seat to untether the 18 month old untrained mule. Now this was a tricky situation. I swear I would have felt better if I was given any other way to prove my courage ( I assure you that am very very brave! ) apart from climbing the mule. But u know what?? Self respect is an important thing, especially when a couple of 15 year olds start giggling on seeing your hesitation.

So dad came on my side and grandpa held the rope by its scruff and asked me to get on. I hesitated a little; looked left; then right; and climbed over. The next 5 minutes were full of terrified looking eyes on my face and an animated mule trying its best to kick me off his back. And on top of that a couple onlookers started laughing seeing my plight, and i was like "b***c*** kyun hass rahe ho??".. But thankfully, I never appreciated this fact before, the mule's anatomy never allowed her hoofs to reach my ass. It did make really threatening attempts at heading my grandpa, like a Ronaldo who has forgotten the difference between a face and a football. At last, what seemed like an eternity, he asked me to get down. I felt thrilled from within, but trying to show my guts, inquired if I could take another round, which he thankfully refused!!

Those of you who are laughing, am glad that you are having a good laugh now. But believe me, this same laughter made me do the impossible! I mean how different does a mule, with a deadly kick and large molars, look from an over sized Labrador. The difference certainly narrows down when you don’t even have a saddle on the same, and u start worrying about… u know what!!

Poltu-logy

2007-04-03T20:57:00.000+05:30

Well this post is basically a redirecting channel for another blog which has quite vehemently written about the political system at microscopic and macroscopic level.. And he would further be writing about the political system at a macro level. And would eventually give a solution for the muddy politics which takes place everywhere..

Please do go through this one. It is written by IITD 4th yr student, and am sure that you are gonna appreciate the effort he has put in to make us realize how though we all dislike poltu, still we not able to keep ourselves away from it.

http://what-d-fk.blogspot.com/

Please dont let the abusive site name drive any of you away!!

Socials .. A Recall

2007-04-01T17:06:00.000+05:30

“Do u know what??? The socials are there tomorrow and NIFT is gonna come this time around!!!!!!!!!”. This enlightening statement was somehow recorded on the tongue of all the futchchas around me in Shivalik. Not that I was any different…

Well for the guys who are puzzled regarding what socials are it is, I feel, a generous effort on the part of IITD to help the futchchas get over their shyness and make couples for the Rendezvous which follows it. Our hard working (no pun intended) cultural secretary, Abhijeet, took the burden of going to NIFT to invite them just for our sake. There was a futchcha meeting with him and couple of other seniors in which he tried to convince the shy and studious futchchas about the nice after effects of such an event. The others? Well they didn’t need a second invitation!

So the word was around that in all there would be about 40-50 boys and 70 girls!! A miracle really. I mean when was the last time we heard of such a ratio in IIT? My memory fails me; or rather the history itself..

So the same students who have never reached their lecture on time reached before the starting time of 5:30. Well all of them were in the best possible attire they could imagine themselves to be in or rather they could get themselves in. And the seniors?? Well I never saw them happier than this. This was the first time socials were being organized in shivalik. If you didn’t see the amount of screwing siddharth did to his face in an overzealous mode of smiling, u missed something!!They were all hugging each other. I was having lots of snaps with the seniors. We were all congratulating each other for their respective to become “bhabhis”. Most of them were, well, holding RED roses. I didn’t really fancy the idea of giving a red rose on the first day to a gal so I had bought a chocolate for the lucky girl…

So we waited and waited. No sign of the angels. So we did what we normally do; danced amongst ourselves. We stopped early so as to conserve our energy for a more noble cause. We waited for what seemed like eternity to us. The roses were drooping; so were our heads. The rumour was spreading that they had backed out. When the news finally arrived that the cultu sec had got a “MISSED CALL” from, I suppose, the head of those girls and who was a PG student. That meant that they were about to arrive. A missed call had, personally, never made me this happier before…

So all the “majnu“ kinds again held their roses in utter sense of expectation. But what was this?? Only about 20 girls for 50 hungry tigers( or as we thought ourselves to be)!! So there would be competition again tonight, I thought.. just as they entered at about 7, the bloody DJ played a real moronic old hindi number in their welcome, we were left looking for some cover in a desperate attempt to make them reaaalize that we too thought that the song sucked!! With an ease they moved towards the chairs kept for them on one side with truly none of us knowing what to do with the rose in one hand and an overbulging volume of testosterone certainly not in the other but hidden somewhere inside concealed from the rest but threatening to show up.i had some experience with girls before but never something of this sort where you were supposed to “choose” someone from the crowd. I controlled my nerves and asked a girl, whom I had chosen keeping in mind the experienced seniors and the scarcity around, her name, told mine and we shook hands. I asked her, “ do you know miss xyz???????” . And it is really tough to explain what kind of a winner I felt when she said, ” ya ofcourse I do. How do you know her??” And thus we got chatting.

Then came one of the guys who was trying his hands everywhere to become a winner in a lost battle, and whom I thought, till then was a true friend!! But no! the testosterone was acting too strongly on him and he tried to separate the two lovers( well not exactly lovers, coz she was, I realized a bit later, already committed..sigh..) from each other. Before he could do something damaging in our budding relationship I asked her out for dance and she, atleast I felt so, gleefully accepted it..

Then there was no looking back. We danced and danced like there was going to be now tomorrow( except ofcourse the damned assignments she had to complete that night and submit the next day). We sweated and puffed and really got into what I call a zone.. the guys left behind kept poking there heads between the two of us, and between other couples too, but were politely shooed away.. and the rest of the bachelors enjoyed dancing amongs themselves or just kept talking about the scarcity of beauty in the woman of today,, haha!! It was real fun and yeah she danced like an angel..

Then we had the ultimate dinner together. Her roomie also joined us and it was some pleasure talking to both of them together. Then I popped up the invitation to both of them for the Rendzvous, but their entire group was supposed to be going out for a tour back their respectives homes. Shit man was disappointing. Then I asked her for her no which ( shit again! ) she couldn’t divulge coz her boyfriend would have killed her for giving her no to a person who could give him immense competition… wow! Never mind. Tis life. I consoled myself.

After that we had the last session of dance and we really did rock the dance floor. It was all going nice and smooth when the PG student abruptly announced that they had to leave as they were getting late. So when I was escorting both of them to the bus, so were the other lucky dogs, I expressed my feeling of oddness that I wouldn’t be able to contact her again. At this point her roomie was taken aback. “What? Why? Didn’t she give her no?? Write down this id!” and I quickly noted it down in the pages of my heart... And then bid them the final good bye.. My only regret?? I forgot to give her the chocolate!!!!!!!!urghhhhh…..

Friendship

2007-03-31T16:47:00.000+05:30

After my previous posts which were rather a bit cynical towards my attachee life, and the way it has taken me along with it, I wanted to write about something good. No actually something really good. Something which has helped me get out of the deepest potholes u can imagine. Something without which I don’t know if I could have made it to the place I am right now. And that something is “friendship”. And here I make no distinction between friendship and true friendship but do make a distinction between friendship and pretension of friendship.

The very first friend that I made was way back when I was in kindergarten and am lucky enough to have him still around. He was my best friend, yes he was. Later on I met another person who then became my best friend. Later on there was another person whom I considered my best friend but later on realized that maybe she isn’t really the best friend. When I came in higher secondary classes I met some genuinely great people. People upon meeting whom you wonder that how come I don’t call this guy my best friend? These things bothered me and made me ponder. Whom do u call your best friend? I realized that any guy whom u can tell whatever you wish to without the danger of that guy using it for any purpose other than your well being is your best friend. In addition to this, he should make his efforts to help you when u “genuinely” need it. I started finding the whole concept of calling someone your best or the second best friend way too kiddish and derogatory towards my friends. Why should someone be my best friend and another person just my good friend? How do u decide that? A person for me is either a great friend or not a friend. If he helps me when needed then he is decidedly is my great friend.

Now here I would like to make a distinction between needs and needs which aren’t too genuine and can be done without. Suppose my friends wants to gossip for a little while with me, while I am studying. And suppose I oblige him. That I feel is a need which can be done without. Or suppose my friend wants to see a movie with me, and I go to watch the movie just for his sake then that is a small need but not an absolutely essential one. Compare this with another friend who is crying because he or she has just suffered a breakup. Then going over to his or her house and consoling her is the responsibility of the friend, till the time it is in his hands doing that. It is something which u emotionally feel the need to do. For me that is the line drawn between an acquaintance and a friend. An acquaintance might get ready to watch a movie with me but might not be available when for example I get injured in an accident. It’s the real need when the real friends are tested not the superfluous needs which many others can help you in.

As you could see in my previous post I have a tendency to become frustrated or agitated in situations which don’t hold that much of importance. Not that attachee thing is a small issue but still I sometimes overvalue the complexity of a situation far beyond what it warrants. And that is the time when I really need the help of my close friends to make an idiot like me realize where I am going wrong.

One last topic I would like to discuss in this post is the issue of lack of communication. One of my closest pal has deservedly settled in IITB. Of course before he went away we used to talk on phone everyday and meet every second day during our combined preparation for Jee. But obviously it’s not possible to talk everyday and definitely not meeting each other every second day any longer!! The important thing here is that we both realize this and further we know that whenever we meet each other or we need each other we would always be full of the same enthusiasm that we have always shared between each other, and this feeling, I feel is more important than any number of calls that we can make to each other.

I suppose I have been able to put forward my entire plethora of feelings about friendship in this post. I don’t know how you would find my ideas but one thing is for sure, that whatever be, these ideas seem to work perfectly well for me ‘cause I have been endowed with the most beautiful set of friends any mortal can ever expect.. Would value your feelings about the same. :)

Attached.. really??

2007-03-29T20:22:00.000+05:30

So today was the big day.. the day when the house secy, cultu secy, sports secy nd well i really dont know which other secys were supposed to be elected for.. am a day scholar and am "attached" to shivalik.. On the first day when i had entered the campus and people asked me that which hostel do i belong to, my instant reply used to be shivalik.. but when they used to know that i am attached then they used to ask me that why did you say shiva?? i said coz i belong to shiva.. they were like no but u an attachee so u practically dont belong to any hostel.. and i was left wondering, so what if i havent been given a room in my hostel, i still do BELONG, but maybe i was not entirely correct..

slowly but surely the image of day scholars aka attachee became clearer to me.. they constitute about 3-4 % of the population and consists of all those unlucky guys who thought they were lucky to have their residences near the campus.. i was asked by my senior attachee friends that why was i showing so much enthu in doing things for my hostel.. but it dint deter me from my goal of doing smth for Shiva.. but when the real things came ; the inter hostel basky (basketball) nd baddy (badminton) matches i fell left out, which was like a real eye opener.. and today there were the elections, nd we got to vote for only the attachee reps!! just the lone 3-4 attachees from our hostel going to the sac (student activity centre) for voting for some stupid unheard post when all my batchmates were going to their respective hostels for voting for the more meaningful positions.. it was PAINFUL to say the least.. nd the attachment?? it just became wee bit thinner..

some ppl might ask me what is the problem if i am not getting the right to vote, coz i anyway dont have the right to stand for the elections.. but the basic problem is that when i came to iit i had huge expectations from myself.. i wanted to do a lot and wanted to do something which ppl cud associate me with.. i was always more than just a studying freak and i wanted to put my other talents to good use.. but i haven't come across a single daysci who might have been able to do something substantial in extra curricular.. and i dont see any hope of creating an exception for the next year's futchchas..

keeping all this aside i am still able to milk out a few positives of being an attachee ; the most prominent one being the heavenly shadow of my parents without whom i wouldnt have been able to reach where i am today.. there is still a lot to achieve but the biggest obstacle between me and my achievements is usually my own laziness and my inability to keep focus on the job at hand.. there is where my parents and particularly my dad comes into picture who never lets me slide off the edges of the cliffs and has always remained my strongest scaffold..

Am sure some of my shiva seniors nd frnds wud also be going thru dis.. but lemme complete my post by adding one more line.. i have made some lifelong frnds in my hostel and well thats the one thing which still somewhat binds me to my hostel.. and i would hope that all my fellow bloggers who cared to go thru this wud spare a moment to pray for me that i get a hostel room!! nd even after that if u got one moment still left.. then just drop in a comment :)

My Stand

2007-03-29T13:13:00.000+05:30

Hello my fellow bloggers!

I always thought i had enough distractions in my life .. And i was always like "No Thanks" when my friends suggested to me to start blogging. But today maybe its the hot weather outside, or my broken toe or maybe something else which nudged me from within to start my own blog. Believe me it feels GOOD!

I have a pretty good idea of what i am gonna include in my blog and what i am not going to. Somehow the idea of sharing whatever i feel inside me on my blog doesn't go down well with me. I got my really cool and understanding set of friends with whom i can share my innermost desires, hates, ideas and everything which i could possible need to puke out. So what is left for my baby blog?? It will mostly be dealing with my everyday experiences, what i feel about certain issues, and it could go into a little bit of psychological aspect of life as well. This is my stand on the kind of things which you could be viewing in my blog.. But ideas can change. and so can the blog.

And for all those who are scratching their heads trying to figure out the meaning of "machao" from the oxford dictionary, well you wont find it there.. cant help but allow my iit lingo affect the name of my blogpage! It means something which is revolutionary or which can make heads turn.. That is what i expect from my blog.. lets see how successful i get..

I know this was boring.. but the start of many classics are usually like that :)