Pinned To The Wall

An IITian is told that the girl he's going to meet today is from LSR. Or an LSRite is told that she's going to meet a guy from IIT today. What's the first thing that comes to his/her mind? I leave that to your judgment.

Now you meet that person with a certain bias in mind, certain parameters set and you believe you're prepared. But when you do converse with him/her you feel some kind of deviation from what you thought that person will be. Then you start to alter the framework you made for that person and try to superimpose that person's behavior onto that imaginary framework, all the time remodeling to somehow fit. When you are unable to fit or remodel what do you do? You either ignore that deviation or you just keep it as a separate module which cannot be made part of that entire framework.

But what if when you meet a person you come with no prior expectations/bias. You create that framework of yours step by step from scratch as you interact with him/her. Don't you think you'll be finished with a more accurate structure?

Sorry for all the stupid stuff above but what I wanna say is this. Do not presume about people based on stuff like where they come from, what religion they follow, what gender they are, what is the color of their skin. In case you can't stop yourself from presuming, then do not be judgmental. In my first and second year of college I use to interact with a lot of people from colleges in DU and other engg colleges. A few of them use to say, "You are pretty different from what I assumed you will be, being an IITian." Dunno if they were compliments or criticism :P

But the point is that assumptions can be pretty wrong as you would yourself have experienced at some point in your life. I have assumed wrongly a lot of times and I continue doing so today. But what hurts is when some person randomly declares someone to be somebody, without interacting with him/her even the bare minimum required!

So point is at least don't be judgmental. Now what's judgmental? In the words of a great man,

"When you give an opinion, you do not have any expectation of it being accepted in the positive or not, and opinion is not to be justified ferociously. Also, your opinion should not adversely impact your attitude towards the thing/person.

Judgmental is the opposite its rigid, has an expectation of acceptance, affects your approach/attitude."

And here is a sample of my chat (or as I call it, my research work)

me: Suppose mai teri date fix karwaane laga hu

ek bandi hai IIT ki.. her name is Mansi

Comp sc dep

Mr. A: accha?

and?

me: ek hai Miranda college ki - Neha - B.A in Psychology

Mr. A: kya baat hai

me: aur ek hai Ludhiane ke - Chandni naam hai uska - B.CA from a regional college

Mr. A: ok..

itne saare dates?

me: lol

will u make assumptions before u meet them??

Mr. A: yeah somewhat will make assumptions

i will tell you how

IIT wali - i expect her to be of my wavelength, but might have more bhaav

but i think we would have lots of common to talk about

Miranda wali - she will be very fashionable, and expect me to be chivalrous and decently dressed and have a good attitude

talking with her can be very interesting

miranda girls find IITians puzzling

if you have a sense of humour, she will find you amusing and interesting

however, just be confident and dont get intimidated by her style

be cool , treat her like a college friend and she will be great fun

BCA from regional college - she will be reasonably fashionable, but she might be a bit prejudiced about you being an IITian geek

however, she is the one with least bhaav

IIT and Miranda girls have too much bhaav

so the "regional college" girl is someone who can be the normal girl next door

she can be a b*tch too, cant say

so in a way, you can make the least amount of predictions abt the regional college girl

IIT and Miranda girls are more or less known for their traits

me: my next question: shud u be making such assumptions in the first place?

Mr. A: arre dekh

some image you can carry

helps in making a good first impression

but dont be prejudiced against the person

let her reveal (her true nature!)

me:i actually chatted with antother guy right before u

but he said he didn't assume

i cudnt believe him!

Mr. A: everyone assumes

in fact they secretly want the girl to be hot

miranda - hottest

BCA - girl next door

IIT - geek with specs :D
me: That guy is a hardware techie
Mr. A: after working on EE hardware

this is what happens

you dont assume ANYthing about ANYthing

me: rofl!!

Mr. A: cause bludy nothing works!

I hope the title now makes sense to you. Its inspired from this poem.

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

Do listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg4trPZFUwc

Have a good time guys! Time to study for my two exams@today.

Goodnight ;)

P.S. A phrase from the book "catcher in the rye" -

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? ;)

P.P.S. All the names are for real, but the characters they represent are not!